The schizophrenic has no sense of humor. His world is a constantly daunting, unfriendly place. Bob Newhart More Quotes by Bob Newhart More Quotes From Bob Newhart I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that. Don't rush into adulthood, it isn't all that much fun. Bob Newhart successfulfunchildren I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'. Bob Newhart musicfunnycountry Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on. Bob Newhart moving-onsmilehappiness People with a sense of humor tend to be less egocentric and more realistic in their view of the world and more humble in moments of success and less defeated in times of travail. Bob Newhart humbleviewspeople It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves. Bob Newhart phonescellstalking Don't ever have two dogs. That way you won't know which one to blame. Bob Newhart dogtwoway Well, if you’re a native Chicagoan, you know how dumb he [Dr. Robert Hartley] is. He gets on the Ravenswood El, he goes past his stop on Sheridan Road, he gets off in Evanston, where the El is on the ground, and then he walks back 55 blocks to his apartment. Now, would you want to have that man as a psychologist? A man who misses his stop every day? Bob Newhart blockmenpast Continuing to do stand-up is always a challenge because the audiences and the environments in which you work very often differ. Bob Newhart environmentcontinuingchallenges I still feel thirty, except when I try to run. Bob Newhart runningfuntrying I don't want to find the secret. I'm afraid all the joy will go out of it if I find the secret. Bob Newhart secretwantjoy I'm one of those passengers who arrives at the airport five or six hours early so I can throw back a few drinks and muster up the courage to board the plane. Apparently I'm not alone because I've never been in an empty airport bar. I don't care what time you get there. Even at 8:00 a.m. you have to fight your way to the bar. At that hour, everyone drinks Bloody Marys so no one can tell it's booze- at least until they fall off their chair. Bob Newhart airportsfightingfall There's gratification in making somebody laugh. It's a wonderful sound. I find myself, to this day, doing it, wanting to make people laugh. Bob Newhart soundlaughingpeople Marriage and fatherhood heighten the disillusion that we all think we are born handy. We confidently believe that we can fix things around the house, as if it's part of the collective brain that was further enhanced by eighth-grade shop class. Bob Newhart classbelievethinking But I really believe that if you have the ability, there is an obligation to make people laugh Bob Newhart laughingbelievepeople Cell phones have gotten so small, you can't tell who's a cell phone user and who's a schizophrenic. Bob Newhart cell-phonephonescells Comedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always out there. Bob Newhart vacationcomedianattention I am a minimalist. I like saying the most with the least. Bob Newhart introvertminimalistquiet I think that what comes through in Chicago humor is the affection. Even though youre poking fun at someone or something, theres still an affection for it. Bob Newhart chicagofunthinking I think one reason for a successful marriage is laughter. I think laughter gets you through the rough moments in a marriage. Bob Newhart laughtersuccessfulthinking I think everyone probably starts out sounding like someone else, but gradually you develop your own sound. Bob Newhart soundthinking
