The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. Joe E. Lewis More Quotes by Joe E. Lewis More Quotes From Joe E. Lewis I don’t drink anymore - just the same amount. Joe E. Lewis amountdrink I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. Joe E. Lewis pillsdoctorstired I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink. Joe E. Lewis drinkingbeerfunny You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough. Joe E. Lewis living-onceyou-only-live-oncelife They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses. Joe E. Lewis medicineglassesneeds I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks. Joe E. Lewis humordrinkingfunny I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves. Joe E. Lewis nervesmoneyfunny Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on. Joe E. Lewis gnarlymaturitymen You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to roll over and float on his back, then you got something! Joe E. Lewis floatshorsewater It pays to get drunk with the best people. Joe E. Lewis drunkalcoholpeople I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin. Joe E. Lewis nextalcoholmen Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty. Joe E. Lewis drinkingfooddirty There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty. Joe E. Lewis one-thingpovertymoney I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play. Joe E. Lewis playgolffunny A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on. Joe E. Lewis drunkalcoholmen It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money. Joe E. Lewis rich-or-poormoneyfunny I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them. Joe E. Lewis chasinggirlremember If you drink like a fish, don't drive: swim. Joe E. Lewis sarcasticbeerfunny I drink to forget I drink. Joe E. Lewis ironicalcoholdrinking Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for U.S. Steel. Joe E. Lewis yankeessteelbaseball
