There is no doubt that every healthy, normal boy...should own a dog at some time in his life, preferably between the ages of forty-five and fifty. Robert Benchley More Quotes by Robert Benchley More Quotes From Robert Benchley There is probably no more obnoxious class of citizen, taken end for end, than the returning vacationist. Robert Benchley vacation taken class A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated. Robert Benchley come-up done people The pencil sharpener is about as far as I have ever got in operating a complicated piece of machinery with any success. Robert Benchley pieces technology complicated The Great Arizona Desert is full of the bleaching bones of people who waited for me to start something. Robert Benchley arizona desert people There is no such place as Budapest. Perhaps you are thinking of Bucharest, and there is no such place as Bucharest, either. Robert Benchley budapest thinking Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got. Robert Benchley central-park new-york children I don't want to be an alarmist, but I think that the Younger Generation is up to something.... I base my apprehension on nothing more definite than the fact that they are always coming in and going out of the house, without any apparent reason. Robert Benchley house facts thinking Consider the number of young people all over the world who are getting married, day in and day out, for no other reason than thatsomeone of the opposite sex looks well in a green jersey or sings baritone, and then tell me that divorce has reached menacing proportions. The surface of divorce has not even been scratched yet. Robert Benchley divorce marriage sex Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini? Robert Benchley humorous witty funny Sheer madness is, of course, the highest possible brow in humor. Robert Benchley brows highest madness I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry. Robert Benchley comedy drinking beer Streets full of water. Please Advise. Robert Benchley humor water funny [Reviewing the New York City Telephone Directory] But it is the opinion of the present reviewer that the weakness of plot is due to the great number of characters which clutter up the pages. The Russian school is responsible for this. Robert Benchley humorous new-york funny Anyone will be glad to admit that he knows nothing about beagling, or the Chinese stock market, or ballistics, but there is not a man or woman alive who does not claim to know how to cure hiccoughs. Robert Benchley chinese doe men For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting. Robert Benchley evil justice time After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get out a new book by him each year. Robert Benchley comedy book years The problem of what to wear while lolling about the house on a Sunday afternoon is becoming more and more acute as the fashions in lolling garments change. The American home is in danger of taking on the appearance of an Oriental bordello. Robert Benchley sunday fashion home Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did. Robert Benchley sarcastic retirement funny New York - The city where the people from Oshkosh look at the people from Dubuque in the next theater seats and say "These New Yorkers don't dress any better than we do. Robert Benchley cities new-york people The only cure for a real hangover is death. Robert Benchley hangover cures real