There would have been more 'I love you's' and more, 'I'm sorry's'. Erma Bombeck More Quotes by Erma Bombeck More Quotes From Erma Bombeck Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. Erma Bombeck thanksgiving football sports One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip. Erma Bombeck wife husband different He opened the jar of pickles when no one else could. He was the only one in the house who wasn't afraid to go into the basement by himself. He cut himself shaving, but no one kissed it or got excited about it. It was understood when it rained, he got the car and brought it around to the door. When anyone was sick, he went out to get the prescription filled. He took lots of pictures... but he was never in them. Erma Bombeck cutting daughter father I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.' Erma Bombeck views time children . . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute - look at it and really see it - live it - and never give it back. Erma Bombeck minutes giving looks People are always asking couples whose marriage has endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman. Erma Bombeck husband couple funny Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born. Erma Bombeck mother giving children It would have been a wonderful wedding - had it not been mine. Erma Bombeck marriage wonderful funny I didn't fear old age. I was just becoming increasingly aware of the fact that the only people who said old age was beautiful were usually twenty-three years old. Erma Bombeck beautiful people years Written on her tombstone: "I told you I was sick. Erma Bombeck written sick tombstone People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow. Erma Bombeck wedding husband funny Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?! Erma Bombeck dessert-first night thinking We've got a generation now who were born with semiequality. They don't know how it was before, so they think, this isn't too bad. We're working. We have our attache' cases and our three piece suits. I get very disgusted with the younger generation of women. We had a torch to pass, and they are just sitting there. They don't realize it can be taken away. Things are going to have to get worse before they join in fighting the battle. Erma Bombeck fighting taken memorable Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely. Erma Bombeck lonely dream inspirational Never order food in excess of your body weight. Erma Bombeck body-weight badass order Some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there. Erma Bombeck funny-valentines-day real love-you Housework, if you do it right, will kill you. Erma Bombeck lazy literature ifs Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license plate. Erma Bombeck family mom funny When humor goes, there goes civilization. Erma Bombeck laughter humor happiness One certainty when you travel is the moment you arrive in a foreign country, the American dollar will fall like a stone. Erma Bombeck country travel fall
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