They call me the confuser. Is he a man... is he a woman? Ooh, I'm not sure if I mind. Noel Fielding More Quotes by Noel Fielding More Quotes From Noel Fielding I couldn't have invented crisps. ... I don't really want to be known as the man who invented crisps. ... I invented apples. ... I invented pandas, and caps. I invented soil. Noel Fielding humormenfunny You can't just go gay, its not like buying a ladder. Noel Fielding gayhumorfunny I'm a mischievous drunk. Noel Fielding drunkhumorfunny When you're quite young, your imagination's quite free. Noel Fielding imaginationyoung I'd have to do unannounced gigs because your fans will laugh at everything because they know what you do already. What you really want is a neutral audience that isn't too harsh - a good comedy crowd - but that don't know necessarily what you're doing. Noel Fielding crowdsfanslaughing I find it depressing that people think you have to be on drugs to watch [my stuff], that’s a cop out, use your brain, use your imagination. Noel Fielding depressingpeoplethinking In comedy, you see yourself as a newcomer and then you realize you've been doing it for 18, 20 years, which is ridiculous. Noel Fielding ridiculouscomedyyears When you're famous you can't go to Topshop. Even when I disguise myself in a moustache, baseball cap, sunglasses - the full Madonna kit - it doesn't work: my stupid face is too big. Noel Fielding baseballstupidfunny There was a big age difference between me and my brothers - about 10 years - so I was an only child for a long time. I used to hang out a lot on my own. I played a lot of weird games with a lot of imaginary people. I guess it's kind of roleplaying. Noel Fielding age-differencebrotherchildren When I was a really young child, I felt like I could see fairies. I was convinced there were fairies in my grandmother's garden. Noel Fielding grandmothergardenchildren When I was three or four, I was really good at drawing and painting, and everyone used to say, "You're going to go to art college." I didn't really know what that meant. Noel Fielding drawingcollegeart It's very difficult once you've been on telly because people know what you do. They give you a little bit of grace but then they're harsher if you're not funny, so you have to be funny. Noel Fielding gracegivingpeople I did work in a bakery for one day. But the boss went off and when he came back I was lying on the floor eating cakes. Noel Fielding humorfunnylying I don't hate Coldplay to be cool I genuinely hate Coldplay. Noel Fielding dont-hatebeing-coolhate If you're going to be a good standup, or a successful standup, or a standup who can work for money, you have to eliminate the possibility of dying quickly. Noel Fielding possibilitydyingsuccessful When I was a little kid I wanted to be Face. I thought, cos I had blond hair and he did too, that when I grew up I'd look like him. Noel Fielding humorfunnykids Englishmen do like to get in a dress, any excuse. Noel Fielding englishmenexcusedresses When I was a little kid I always wanted to be ginger. My best friend was ginger and he was pretty cool. Noel Fielding humorfunnykids I always wanted to travel around and see lots of America, I'd never been to Boston, I'd never been to San Francisco even, so I'm quite excited to just go the places. Noel Fielding san-franciscobostonamerica You go to all these parties and meet all these crazy people. But ultimately, it just ends up with you in a club, and then you're in the VIP area of the club, and then you're in the special secret VIP bit, and then eventually, it's just you, on your own, in a VIP box, going, 'Is this fun? I'm not sure this is fun.' Noel Fielding youcrazyfunpeople
