To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children. Erma Bombeck More Quotes by Erma Bombeck More Quotes From Erma Bombeck I have a friend who lives by a three-word philosophy: Seize the Moment. Just possibly, she may be the wisest woman on this planet. Erma Bombeck threemayphilosophy As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her. Erma Bombeck bookchildrenschool I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded. Erma Bombeck sofascarpetdinner A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. Erma Bombeck laughterfriendshipfunny With girls, everything looks great on the surface. But beware of drawers that won't open. They contain a three-month supply of dirty underwear, unwashed hose, and rubber bands with blobs of hair in them. Erma Bombeck girlhairdirty With boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane. It's all there. The fruit flies hovering over their waste can, the hamster trying to escape to cleaner air, the bedrooms decorated in Early Bus Station Restroom. Erma Bombeck fruit-fliesairboys Let me put it this way. According to my girth, I should be a ninety-foot redwood. Erma Bombeck redwoodsfeetway Hello there. I'm out social climbing, but if you leave your name and number and if you're anybody, I'll get back to you. Erma Bombeck climbingnamesnumbers I firmly believe kids don't want your understanding. They want your trust, your compassion, your blinding love and your car keys, but you try to understand them and you're in big trouble. Erma Bombeck compassionbelievekids Having a delivery covered by Medicare just isn't going to fly. It's too risky for a woman to put a baby down and not remember where she left it. Erma Bombeck down-andrememberbaby When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later. Erma Bombeck humordogmorning Adults can take a simple holiday for Children and screw it up. What began as a presentation of simple gifts to delight and surprise children around the Christmas tree has culminated in a woman unwrapping six shrimp forks from her dog, who drew her name. Erma Bombeck christmasdogchildren In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television. Erma Bombeck familyfunnychildren Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial. Erma Bombeck cerealfamilyfood My idea of 'roughing it' is when you have to have an extension for your electric blanket. Erma Bombeck electricblanketideas Never have more children than you have car windows. Erma Bombeck wittylifefunny Motherhood is the second oldest profession in the world. It never questions age, height, religious preference, health, political affiliation, citizenship, morality, ethnic background, marital status, economic level, convenience, or previous experience. Erma Bombeck motherhoodpoliticalreligious What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere? Erma Bombeck growinghairmen Motherhood isn't just a series of contractions; it's a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we feel a responsibility to protect and defend that human being. Erma Bombeck motherhoodresponsibilitymind The fact was I didn't want to look my age, but I didn't want to act the age I wanted to look either. I also wanted to grow old enough to understand that sentence. Erma Bombeck agewantlooks
