When you're lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility. Erma Bombeck More Quotes by Erma Bombeck More Quotes From Erma Bombeck When children reach the age of sixteen, they discover the meaning of life: car keys. Erma Bombeck car keys children Our teen-agers withdrew to their bedrooms on their thirteenth birthday and didn't show themselves to us again until it was time to get married. Erma Bombeck bedroom adolescence married My son did not show signs of a money deficiency until he opened his small fist in the nursery and found it was empty. Erma Bombeck baby funny children In the South Pacific, because of their size, mosquitoes are required to file flight plans. Erma Bombeck mosquitoes size flight not all bears have their own television series. Some of them are unemployed wild animals. Erma Bombeck bears animal television After age twelve, birthdays should be as private as hernia surgery. Erma Bombeck twelve should age I'm so bored. I went to the food locker yesterday to visit my meat. Erma Bombeck boredom meat yesterday I got so much food spit back in my face when my kids were small, I put windshield wipers on my glasses. Erma Bombeck baby funny children Explain to me how he [her son] can ride a bicycle, run, play ball, set up a camp, swing, fight a war, swim and race for eight hours ... and has to be driven to the garbage can. Erma Bombeck fighting running war If I raised my hand to wipe the hair out of my children's eyes, they'd flinch and call their attorney. Erma Bombeck baby funny children The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, "Could I get you your check?" and we answered, "How about the menu first?" Erma Bombeck food baby children There would have been more 'I love you's' and more, 'I'm sorry's'. Erma Bombeck has-beens sorry love Never loan your car to anyone to whom you've given birth. Erma Bombeck loan birth car
