Women have simple tastes. They get pleasure out of the conversation of children in arms and men in love. H. L. Mencken More Quotes by H. L. Mencken More Quotes From H. L. Mencken A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses. H. L. Mencken funny-valentines-daywomenlove [C]lass consciousness is not one of our national diseases; we suffer, indeed, from its opposite-the delusion that class barriers are not real. That delusion reveals itself in many forms, some of them as beautiful as a glass eye. One is the Liberal doctrine that a prairie demagogue promoted to the United States Senate will instantly show all the sagacity of a Metternich ... another is the doctrine that a moronrun through a university and decorated with a Ph.D. will cease thereby to be a moron. H. L. Mencken eyerealbeautiful Life is a constant oscillation between the sharp horns of dilemmas. H. L. Mencken choiceslifefunny But I wonder where we will land if trial judges begin deciding that the fact that a man has committed an atrocious crime is proof sufficient that he is not responsible for his acts. H. L. Mencken landjudgingmen It is the invariable habit of bureaucracies, at all times and everywhere, to assume...that every citizen is a criminal. Their one apparent purpose, pursued with a relentless and furious diligence, is to convert the assumption into a fact. They hunt endlessly for proofs, and, when proofs are lacking, for mere suspicions. The moment they become aware of a definite citizen, John Doe, seeking what is his right under the law, they begin searching feverishly for an excuse for withholding it from him. H. L. Mencken votinglawfacts Has the art of politics no apparent utility? Does it appear to be unqualifiedly ratty, raffish, sordid, obscene, and low down, andits salient virtuosi a gang of unmitigated scoundrels? Then let us not forget its high capacity to soothe and tickle the midriff, its incomparable services as a maker of entertainment. H. L. Mencken entertainmentpoliticsart Bridges would not be safer if only people who knew the proper definition of a real number were allowed to design them. H. L. Mencken realbridgesmath The other day a dog peed on me. A bad sign. H. L. Mencken dog Evangelical Christianity, as everyone knows, is founded upon hate, as the Christianity of Christ was founded upon love. H. L. Mencken hatereligiousreligion Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood. H. L. Mencken racemenideas Journalism is to politician as dog is to lamp-post. H. L. Mencken lampsjournalismdog The chief difference between free capitalism and State socialism seems to be this: that under the former a man pursues his own advantage openly, frankly and honestly, whereas under the latter he does so hypocritically and under false pretenses. H. L. Mencken differencesdoemen There is always a sheet of paper. There is always a pen. There is always a way out. H. L. Mencken sheetspaperway The American people, North and South, went into the [Civil] war as citizens of their respective states, they came out as subjects ... what they thus lost they have never got back. H. L. Mencken libertywarpeople There has been no organized effort to keep government down since Jefferson's day. Ever since then the American people have been bolstering up its powers and giving it more and more jurisdiction over their affairs. They pay for that folly in increased taxes and diminished liberties. H. L. Mencken governmentgivingpeople The final test of truth is ridicule. Very few dogmas have ever faced it and survived. H. L. Mencken dogmafinalstests Of all the classes of men, I dislike the most those who make their livings by talking - actors, clergymen, politicians, pedagogues, and so on. .... It is almost impossible to imagine a talker who sticks to the facts. Carried away by the sound of his own voice and the applause from the groundlings, he makes inevitably the jump from logic to mere rhetoric. H. L. Mencken classtalkingmen A man full of faith is simply one who has lost the capacity for clear and realistic thought. H. L. Mencken atheistfaithmen [T]he only thing wrong with Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address was that it was the South, not the North, that was fighting for a government of the people, by the people and for the people. H. L. Mencken governmentfightingpeople A tin horn politician with the manner of a rural corn doctor and the mien of a ham actor H. L. Mencken tindoctorspolitical
