Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty. W. C. Fields More Quotes by W. C. Fields More Quotes From W. C. Fields First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks. W. C. Fields philadelphia two firsts Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life. W. C. Fields rest-of-your-life comedy trying The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves. W. C. Fields lazy humor men A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. W. C. Fields money sarcastic funny Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol. W. C. Fields drinking beer reality Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep. W. C. Fields humorous sleep funny Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself. W. C. Fields trust cutting cards I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. W. C. Fields hunting witty funny A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for. W. C. Fields cheating Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live. W. C. Fields worry heart long I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. W. C. Fields strong witty funny It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to. W. C. Fields confidence self-esteem inspirational This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful. W. C. Fields grateful jobs funny The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath. W. C. Fields cheesy cat clever I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here. W. C. Fields steak horse used My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass. W. C. Fields orange-trees glasses ambition Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. W. C. Fields drinking book travel If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon. W. C. Fields saloons living-my-life drinking I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me. W. C. Fields drink humorous beer No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree. W. C. Fields degrees crazy doubt