Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty. W. C. Fields More Quotes by W. C. Fields More Quotes From W. C. Fields All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. W. C. Fields beard family men The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. W. C. Fields lawyer mom mother I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me. W. C. Fields lines would-be remember Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. W. C. Fields drinking beer food I must have a drink of breakfast. W. C. Fields drink comedy breakfast So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey. W. C. Fields swallowing simple long I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes. W. C. Fields witty cute funny A merry Christmas to all my friends except two. W. C. Fields my-friends christmas two Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned. W. C. Fields milk cry may I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. W. C. Fields experts science father Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil. W. C. Fields devil husband acting I never met a kid I liked. W. C. Fields mets kids Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh. W. C. Fields business laughing people I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad. W. C. Fields marriage fire funny Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. W. C. Fields swimming innovation life I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either. W. C. Fields drink drinking hands What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe. W. C. Fields sunshine brother mother My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw. W. C. Fields daughter men thinking When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with. W. C. Fields wake-up morning inspirational Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried! W. C. Fields succeed trying facts
