You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don't want to see t... by Bill Cosby

You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don't want to see the dog doing them.

Bill Cosby

Image Embed Code

Categorized in : Funny Dog Humorous

I often try to tell kids to think about all the people who love you, don't cry over the one person who doesn't.

love kids thinking

My grandfather said, "When you become senile, you won't know it." by Bill Cosby

My grandfather said, "When you become senile, you won't know it."

getting-older hypocrisy age

Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.

family music children

I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.

real baby children

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

funny-life mistake birthday

Nobody ever says, "Can I have your beets? by Bill Cosby

Nobody ever says, "Can I have your beets?

beets humor funny

YOU are a genius!... and I am a genius because I married you. by Bill Cosby

YOU are a genius!... and I am a genius because I married you.

The serve was invented so that the net could play. by Bill Cosby

The serve was invented so that the net could play.

funny-tennis tennis play

I wasn't always black... there was this freckle, and it got bigge... by Bill Cosby

I wasn't always black... there was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger.

humor race funny

Take your bottom lip and pull it over your head. by Bill Cosby

Take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.

lips over-you pregnancy

Parents are people who yell and they yell and they yell and they yell. And you already have the point... and they're still yelling.

yelling parent people

Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peac... by Bill Cosby

Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet.

parenting family justice

A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.

fathers-day funny children

If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.

fathers-day dad funny

A father... knows exactly what those boys at the mall have in their depraved little minds because he once owned such a depraved little mind himself. In fact, if he thinks enough about the plans that he used to have for young girls, the father not only will support his wife in keeping their daughter home but he might even run over to the mall and have a few of those boys arrested.

daughter girl running

My mother was an authority on pig sties. This is the worst looking pigsty I have ever seen in my life, and I want it cleaned up right now.

mother pigs son

Old is always fifteen years from now. by Bill Cosby

Old is always fifteen years from now.

humor birthday funny

The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague.

humor law funny

Men and women belong to different species and communications betw... by Bill Cosby

Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.

sisterhood communication men

It's painful, but we can't heal ourselves unless we cleanse the w... by Bill Cosby

It's painful, but we can't heal ourselves unless we cleanse the wounds.

wounds heal painful