You have to pretend like you want to use a condom. I like to say something fun when I bring it up, but honest. I'll be like, 'You're going to want to wear this. I've had a busy month. Amy Schumer More Quotes by Amy Schumer More Quotes From Amy Schumer I saw them, and I asked my publicist, 'Can I dive in front of them and act like I fell?' And she said, 'I can't stop you,'. Amy Schumer top-news I would never. I think he looks good, we have the same hair. Amy Schumer latest-headlines I want everybody to see the movie just so they know how messed up I am, i can't wait. Amy Schumer latest-headlines I'm super grateful that there wasn't social media when I was a kid, but that sort of self-doubt crept in at a young age. It's bullying. It's the comments here and there, and maybe somebody says something to you that they don't even mean to be a mean-spirited comment, but they'll just kind of say it to you in passing. Amy Schumer social-media bullying grateful age I have a healthy relationship with food. My problem is, as a comic, I eat dinner late. But I'll have a smoothie for breakfast every morning, and I keep it pretty low-carb and healthy during the day. At night, I'll have a basic protein, quinoa, and vegetables. Amy Schumer day food morning relationship What's good about not being a model is that it's not the thing I trade on. Once I start looking older, that won't affect me. I have never gotten anything done because I'm, like, so gorgeous. I'm good-looking enough that I can work in the business. Amy Schumer good me business work I've always had my wrist slapped for being myself. Amy Schumer being myself always being-myself I am very into making up my own rules. Amy Schumer rules i-am own my-own I want people to live to their full potential, not to hold themselves back because of insecurities, and especially not women. I see too much of that. Amy Schumer live back women people I think standup is pretty good for an introvert because you are performing, but, I mean, it's on your own terms. There are so many people in the room, but it's a one-sided conversation. And you actually don't have to interact - unless you want to. Amy Schumer good think you people A big part of becoming a funny person was a major defense mechanism. Onstage, especially as a woman, I've had to be really tough. The second you show a crack, the audience can literally leave. Amy Schumer woman you tough funny I can't hide my feelings. I'm efficient. I've always been that way. Amy Schumer hide always feelings way I love being in my own skin, and I hope other women start feeling better about themselves and waste less energy being ashamed of their bodies. Amy Schumer feeling women hope love Happiness can't start with external stuff, whether that's money or success or your body. Amy Schumer start money success happiness Being introverted, it doesn't mean necessarily being shy or being afraid of public speaking; it just means that it's hard for me to interact with people for too long. Amy Schumer me shy long people I was always like that, at 5 years old, just demanding equality. I thought it could all be fixed if you called attention to it. Amy Schumer thought you equality attention I really am a chick from Long Island who's just learning along with everyone. Amy Schumer everyone island learning long It's not hard for me to be funny. But it's really hard. I don't think a lot of people are funny. I meet a lot of people, and most of them aren't funny. Amy Schumer think me funny people I guess Academy Members ‘don’t look up’ reviews. Wait a minute — I loved that movie.Jennifer Lawrence was amazing in it, even though she didgain some weight this year, jennifer Lawrence just had a baby AND came back from a break from the industry because of her struggles. Amy Schumer Good morning America I'm not sure who thought this was a good idea, but I am hosting The Oscars along with my good friends Wanda Sykes and Regina Hall. Amy Schumer
