Jake Johannsen Professions : Comedian Born : July 28, 1960 Browse All Authors Top 5 quotes by Jake Johannsen People honk at you if you meditate at the stop light. Jake Johannsen light ifs people A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. 'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have kill you too. Jake Johannsen tone cows funny If love was easy, there would be almost no music. Jake Johannsen ifs would-be easy Never put a razor inside your nose - even as a joke. Jake Johannsen razors noses advice Yes. I didn't think there were any witnesses, so I guess I'll have to kill you too. Jake Johannsen witness food thinking Similar Authors Bob Hope comedian Brent Weinbach comedian Buddy Hackett comedian Bruce Baum comedian Brother Theodore comedian Brother Dave Gardner comedian All Authors