Randy Glasbergen Professions : Cartoonist Born : 1957 Died : August 11, 2015 Browse All Authors Top 9 quotes by Randy Glasbergen What fits your busy schedule better, exercising one hour a day or being dead 24 hours a day? Randy Glasbergen schedules busy exercise Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline. If you'd like to lose a half pound right now, press 1 eighteen thousand times. Randy Glasbergen humor loss funny I think men were destined to become homemakers. After all, who ever heard of "Ms. Clean" or the "Woman from Glad"? Randy Glasbergen men sex thinking Thank you for calling customer service. If you're calm and rational, press 1. If you're a whiner, press 2. If you're a hot head, press 3 Randy Glasbergen calling hot funny It's called 'reading'. It's how people install new software into their brains. Randy Glasbergen reading brain people I learned about stress management from my kids. Every night after work, I drink some chocolate milk, eat sugary cereal straight from the box, then run around the house in my underwear screaming like a monkey. Randy Glasbergen stress running kids He gave me a copy of The Declaration of Independence, then he got a tattoo that says Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Death. I think my boyfriend wants his freedom. Randy Glasbergen tattoo humorous thinking Whenever I call a company and get put on hold, I never really feel like I'm being held. Randy Glasbergen funny-work company feels These motivational tapes have really inspired me! I'm going to make a million dollars, buy my own company and retire early. Then, I'm going to write a novel and a symphony and give all the profits to charity. Then next month, I'll figure out how to do it. Randy Glasbergen motivation inspirational funny Similar Authors Al Capp cartoonist Bill Amend cartoonist Bryan Lee O'Malley cartoonist Art Spiegelman cartoonist Alison Bechdel cartoonist Alex Toth cartoonist All Authors
