Comedy is the kindly contemplation of the incongruous. P. G. Wodehouse More Quotes by P. G. Wodehouse More Quotes From P. G. Wodehouse Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good. P. G. Wodehouse theatredarkfunny Into the face of the young man who sat on the terrace of the Hotel Magnifique at Cannes there had crept a look of furtive shame, the shifty, hangdog look which announces that an Englishman is about to talk French. P. G. Wodehouse speaks-frenchmenlooks Skiing consists of wearing $3,000 worth of clothes and equipment and driving 200 miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and drink. P. G. Wodehouse clothesfoodorder If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine. P. G. Wodehouse selfish-peopleairmen I suppose half the time Shakespeare just shoved down anything that came into his head. P. G. Wodehouse half I should think it extremely improbable that anyone ever wrote for money. Naturally, when he has written something, he wants to get as much for it as he can, but that is a very different thing from writing for money. P. G. Wodehouse differentwritingthinking Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse. P. G. Wodehouse prolongingmarriageprocess I believe there are two ways of writing novels. One is mine, making a sort of musical comedy without music and ignoring real life altogether; the other is going right deep down into life and not caring a damn. P. G. Wodehouse realwritingbelieve The cup of tea on arrival at a country house is a thing which, as a rule, I particularly enjoy. I like the crackling logs, the shaded lights, the scent of buttered toast, the general atmosphere of leisured cosiness. P. G. Wodehouse lighthousecountry Dark hair fell in a sweep over his forehead. He looked like a man who would write vers libre, as indeed he did. P. G. Wodehouse darkwritingmen There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine. P. G. Wodehouse getting-olderhumoroushair The Duke of Dunstable had one-way pockets. He would walk ten miles in the snow to chisel an orphan out of tuppence. P. G. Wodehouse pocketssnowway It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it after all. P. G. Wodehouse partyspeak ...there was practically one handwriting common to the whole school when it came to writing lines. It resembled the movements of a fly that had fallen into an ink-pot, and subsequently taken a little brisk exercise on a sheet of foolscap by way of restoring the circulation. P. G. Wodehouse takenwritingschool you ever have that feeling when you step down onto a footstep that isn't there? P. G. Wodehouse footstepsstepsfeelings Woman is the unfathomable, incalculable mystery, the problem we men can never hope to solve. P. G. Wodehouse mysteryproblemmen Statisticians estimate that crime among good golfers is lower than in any class of the community except possibly bishops. P. G. Wodehouse bishopscommunityclass She looked away. Her attitude seemed to suggest that she had finished with him, and would be obliged if somebody would come and sweep him up. P. G. Wodehouse obligedwould-beattitude The exquisite code of politeness of the Woosters prevented me clipping her one on the ear-hole, but I would have given a shilling to be able to do it. There seemed to me something deliberately fat-headed in the way she persisted in missing the gist. P. G. Wodehouse gistmissingears We must always remember, however,' said Psmith gravely, 'that poets are also God's creatures. P. G. Wodehouse poetsaidremember
