Decaf is like masturbating with an oven mitt! Robin Williams More Quotes by Robin Williams More Quotes From Robin Williams Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work! Robin Williams humor business funny Don't mess with me, man, I'm a lawyer! Robin Williams hook lawyer men We're dealing with fundamentalists... the Amish are fundamentalists, but they don't try and hijack a carriage at needlepoint. And, if you're ever in Amish country and you see a man with his hand buried in a horse's ass, that's a mechanic. Remember that. Robin Williams horse men country I just want to do movies, and I want to sell them. I don't want to link up with some product. Robin Williams products links want If heaven exists, to know that there's laughs, that would be a great thing. Robin Williams would-be laughing heaven Compassionate conservative. I don't know what that is, it sounds like a Volvo with a gun rack. Robin Williams conservative gun sound Acting is different from stand-up. It gives you this ability to enter into another character, to create another person. Robin Williams acting giving character The truth is, if anything, I'm probably addicted to laughter. Robin Williams truth-is laughter ifs When I was growing up they used to say, "Robin, drugs can kill you." Now that I'm 58 my doctor's telling me, "Robin, you need drugs to live." I realize now that my doctor is also my dealer. Robin Williams growing-up humor funny All the new people you meet, it's pretty amazing. The vampire needs new blood. And there is still a lot to learn and there is always great stuff out there. Even mistakes can be wonderful. Robin Williams mistake memorable blood I can see it now: Osama bin Laden goes up to the pearly gates where George Washington comes out, starts beating him and is then joined by 70 other members of the Continental Congress. Osama will say, Hey, wait! Where are my 71 virgins? And George will reply It's 71 Virginians, you asshole! Robin Williams osama-bin-laden hey waiting Gradual school is where you go to school and you gradually find out you don't want to go to school anymore. Robin Williams want school Sometimes it’s more noble to tell a small lie than to deliver a painful truth. Robin Williams noble sometimes lying Clouds are like boogers hanging on the nostrils of the moon. Robin Williams moon clouds science No man is an island; but some are peninsulas. Robin Williams peninsulas islands men Politics is so personal, vicious and immediate, how are you going to get anything done? Even the local politics where I live have gotten so ugly. Robin Williams vicious ugly done After I quit drinking, I realized I am the same asshole I always was; I just have fewer dents in my car. Robin Williams quitting car drinking You don't need cocaine! There's another way to get real high, and really mess your mind up, it's called marathon running! Robin Williams real mind running The Second Amendment! It says you have the right to bear arms, or the right to arm bears, whatever the hell you want to do! Robin Williams second-amendment humor funny To make fun of an administration, to make fun of anything, Mark Twain said, is the last defense of democracy. Robin Williams democracy defense fun
