Decaf is like masturbating with an oven mitt! Robin Williams More Quotes by Robin Williams More Quotes From Robin Williams In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say 'Stop, or I'll say stop again.' Robin Williams gun humor funny If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus. Robin Williams fart light moon To be acknowledged for who and what I am, no more, no less. Not for acclaim, not for approval, but, the simple truth of that recognition. This has been the elemental drive of my existence, and it must be achieved, if I am to live or die with dignity. Robin Williams recognition simple approval As an alcoholic, you will violate your standards quicker than you can lower them. Robin Williams standards alcohol drinking My favorite thing to do is ride a bicycle. I ride road bikes. And for me, it's mobile meditation. Robin Williams favorites-things my-favorite meditation I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself. Robin Williams dead-poets-society carpe-diem thinking There's a world out there. Open a window, and it's there. Robin Williams window world If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number? Robin Williams humorous witty funny Self-reliance is the key to a vigorous life. A man must look inward to find his own answers. Robin Williams keys self men I was an only child. I did have kind of like a lonely existence. Robin Williams only-child lonely children Look at the walls of Pompeii. That's what got the internet started. Robin Williams pompeii wall looks Being a functioning alcoholic is kind of like being a paraplegic lap dancer: You can do it, just not as well as the others, really. Robin Williams dancer lap kind I thought lacrosse was what you find in la church. Robin Williams lacrosse church sports I love kids, but they are a tough audience. Robin Williams kids-love tough kids The first time I tried organic wheat bread, I thought I was chewing on roofing material Robin Williams wheat inspiration bread I love to ride my bike, which is great aerobics, but also just a great time for me to think, so it's like this terrific double bill. Robin Williams great-times bills thinking We were romantics. We didn't just read poetry. We let it drip from our tongues like honey. Spirits soared. Women swooned, and gods were created, gentlemen. Not a bad way to spend an evening, eh? Robin Williams gentleman honey way I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out. Robin Williams wine humor funny Reality: What a concept! Robin Williams memorable life funny I stand upon my desk to remind myself that we must constantly look at things in a different way. Robin Williams dead-poets-society carpe-diem different