Decaf is like masturbating with an oven mitt! Robin Williams More Quotes by Robin Williams More Quotes From Robin Williams Avoid using the word 'very' because it's lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don't use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason boys - to woo women - and in that endeavor, laziness will not do. Robin Williams sadtiredboys What's wrong with death sir? What are we so mortally afraid of? Why can't we treat death with a certain amount of humanity and dignity, and decency, and God forbid, maybe even humor. Death is not the enemy gentlemen. If we're going to fight a disease, let's fight one of the most terrible diseases of all, indifference. Robin Williams fightinghumanitydeath Beer commercials usually show big men, manly men, doing manly things: "You've just killed a small animal. It's time for a light beer." Why not have a realistic beer commercial, with a realistic thing about beer, where someone goes, "It's 5:00 in the morning. You've just pissed on a dumpster. It's Miller time." Robin Williams humormorningfunny My children give me a great sense of wonder. Just to see them develop into these extraordinary human beings. And a favorite book as a child? Growing up, it was 'The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe' - I would read the whole C.S. Lewis series out loud to my kids. I was once reading to Zelda, and she said 'don't do any voices. Just read it as yourself.' So I did, I just read it straight, and she said 'that's better.' Robin Williams growing-upbookchildren Anything that is not funny at a certain point will be funny. Robin Williams comedycertain You can start any 'Monty Python' routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand. Robin Williams routinepythonpeople Ever since my children were born, the moment I looked at them I was crazy about them. Once I held them I was hooked. I am addicted to my children sir. I love them with all my heart and the idea of someone telling me I can't be with them, I can't see them everyday. Well, it's like someone saying I can't have air. Robin Williams crazychildrenart When you create you get a little endorphin rush. Why do you think Einstein looked like that? Robin Williams creativitylittlesthinking Ballet: men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are. Robin Williams balletdancemen We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture. Robin Williams humorinspirationfunny If women ran the world, we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. Robin Williams strong-womeninspirationalfunny Gentlemen, haven't we learned anything from the music of John Lennon? All we need is love. Robin Williams gentlemanphilosophyneeds The Chinese had accused the Tibetans of being terrorists, which is weird. A Tibetan terrorist is like an Amish hacker. It just doesn't fit. Robin Williams amishchinesefit Here's the best birth control in the whole world, if you really, if you have no pills, if you have no diaphragm, if you have no other form of contraception. Use it for ladies, if he comes at you with that little thing in his hand, just laugh at it. They can't deal with it, OK, it'll be gone. Robin Williams uselaughinghands The idea of being a character who is kind of isolated, I can relate to that. Robin Williams one-linecharacterideas What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong. Robin Williams inspirationallifefunny We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. Robin Williams carpe-diemwritingcute But only in their dreams can men be truly free. It was always thus and always thus will be. Robin Williams dreaminspirationalfunny You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer. Robin Williams divorcehumorfunny Cocaine is God's way of telling you you are making too much money. Robin Williams moneyhumorfunny
