Dilbert: Evolution must be true because it is a logical conclusion of the scientific method. Scott Adams More Quotes by Scott Adams More Quotes From Scott Adams Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto Scott Adams hurt people needs The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots. Scott Adams idiot principles people Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion. Scott Adams dating principles religion If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy. Scott Adams exercise weight-loss food Remember, freedom is always taken, never given. Scott Adams political taken remember Priority-wise, it simply makes sense to take care of yourself before you start searching for a higher meaning. You aren't much good to anyone else if you're unhealthy, a financial burden, or an emotional basket case. Fix yourself before you turn outward. It's best for everyone. Scott Adams priorities emotional wise The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day. This is why people of different religions can generally live in peace. At some level, we all suspect that other people don't believe their own religion any more than we believe ours. Scott Adams believe people religion I discovered what I call the Bill Gates effect. That is, the more successful you are, the uglier you get. Scott Adams computer bills successful The best way to compile inaccurate information that no one wants is to make it up. Scott Adams information want way No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab. Scott Adams new-york funny travel The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Scott Adams aging knowing age The source of all unhappiness is other people. As soon as you learn to think of other people as noisy furniture, the sooner you will be happy. - Wally's Keynote Speech Scott Adams speech people thinking Everybody is somebody's else's weirdo Scott Adams dilbert weirdo Some of my best friends are Venture Capitalists, but let's face it, a hamster with Alzheimer's could make those kind of numbers. It's great work if you can get it. Scott Adams alzheimers my-best-friend numbers The children are our future. And that is why, ultimately, we're screwed unless we do something about it. If you haven't noticed, the children who are our future are good-looking, but they aren't all that bright. As dense as they might be, they will eventually notice that adults have spent all the money, spread disease, and turned the planet into a smoky, filthy ball of death. We're raising an entire generation of dumb, pissed-off kids who know where the handguns are kept. This is not a good recipe for a happy future. Scott Adams future kids children Science is a good thing. News reporters are good things too. But it's never a good idea to put them in the same room. Scott Adams science rooms ideas Failure is a resource that can be managed. Scott Adams resources There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft. Scott Adams funny-work lines marketing Frankly, I’m suspicious of anyone who has a strong opinion on a complicated issue. Scott Adams issues opinion strong There's a fine line between participation and mockery. Scott Adams lines cynicism criticism
