Everybody has to sell out at some point to make a living. Dennis Miller More Quotes by Dennis Miller More Quotes From Dennis Miller A third myth is that men think that women like guys who are dangerous. As a result, guys will often smoke cigarettes, drink too much, and ride a motorcycle without a helmet. The reality? Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women want us to think that because women are trying to kill us. Dennis Miller menrealitythinking In regards to Oral Roberts' claim that God told him that he would die unless he received $20 million by March, God's lawyers have stated that their client has not spoken with Roberts for several years. Off the record, God has stated that 'if I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago. Dennis Miller icelongyears Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways. Dennis Miller parentingimportantjobs Twitter! Never have lives been less lived and more chronicled! Dennis Miller They have an amazing proliferation of TV channels now: The all-cartoon channel, the 24-hour-science fiction channel. Of course, to make room for these they got rid of the Literacy Channel and the What's Left of Civilization Channel. Dennis Miller cartooncivilizationfiction And by the way, my belief is that if men were the ones getting pregnant, abortions would be easier to get than food poisoning in Moscow. Dennis Miller abortionchoicesmen I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet. Dennis Miller tysonalphabetfootball The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt. Dennis Miller quiltshumorfunny The world is so ass-backwards it almost makes you wish you were dyslexic. Dennis Miller asswishworld After 7 years of marriage, I am sure of 2 things: First, never wallpaper together and second, you'll need 2 bathrooms . . . both for her. The rest is a mystery, but a mystery I love to be involved in. Dennis Miller marriagecoupleyears I come from that earlier time in America when palm pilot was a nickname you recieved upon entering puberty! I was more than a palm pilot I was the palm Chuck Jager. Tom Wolfe wrote a book about me called The Right Hand Stuff. I was the only guy in my class hip enough to move to the European grip. Dennis Miller bookhandsmoving Forbes magazine has named Mel Gibson this year's most powerful celebrity. ... Forbes' least powerful celebrity? [Miller displayed the widely circulated image from the Lynndie England photographs of a hooded Iraqi prisoner with wires attached to his outstretched arms] You're looking at him. Screw this guy. ... [He's a] bad guy. Dennis Miller guypowerfulyears Trends don't mean anything to me. If I like something, I'll do it. If I don't, I won't do it, and I wouldn't care if everybody in the country mocked me. Dennis Miller caremeancountry I've grown fonder for Hillary Clinton since she ran for the presidency. I think that it's emblematic of the Rolling Stones song, you can't always get what you want, i.e., the grail. Sometimes you get what you need. And whatever she's gotten over the last couple of years, being humbled or be it being humbled and see the proletariat come to bat for her, getting outside of the bubble, getting out of this man's shadow, not quite getting the job she wants but a great wonk job. Dennis Miller couplesongjobs Obama better hope a kicked ass is covered by Obamacare. Dennis Miller asscoveredobamacare I'm glad I don't have a lot of money in the market. And quite frankly, you'd be better off giving your money to a colorblind roulette addict than put it in the stock market. Dennis Miller roulettegladgiving We've got Nancy Pelosi. She never shuts up. It's just occasionally we have to hood her like a falcon so we can get some sleep. Dennis Miller nancyshut-upsleep Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble. Dennis Miller scrabblexenophobiatolerance The Nazi signs have got to stop. If you're in a peace march and the guy next to you has a sign saying that 'Bush is Hitler,' forget the peace thing for a second and beat his ass, because he is not Hitler. Dennis Miller nextpoliticsguy In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every computer that that computer has ever linked up to. Dennis Miller weekendtechnologyviews
