Everyone smiles in the same language. George Carlin More Quotes by George Carlin More Quotes From George Carlin At best, God can be viewed as nothing more than an uncaring incompetent father-figure George Carlin best-god figures father Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it's trying to save its body. George Carlin soul fitness america There are battered husbands. Apparently this happens when the woman is real big, the man is very small, and they each drink a quart of whiskey a day. George Carlin husband real men I like to say two things in life that mean the most: genetics and luck. When you look at it realistically, genetics is luck too. Because you could have been born in some really terrible situation and never had a chance to realize yourself or see who you were. And so the luck of genetics and then after that, circumstances, those are the two guiding things. George Carlin things-in-life two mean Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? George Carlin freedom peace funny Grass probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer. When you're high, it's easy to kid yourself about how clever certain mediocre pieces of material are. But, on the other hand, pot opens windows and doors that you may not be able to get through any other way. George Carlin hurt clever kids The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin truth inspirational funny Grass probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer. George Carlin performers hurt grass It's never just a game when you're winning. George Carlin sarcastic witty funny A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does. It doesn't only represent the good things. If you burn the flag, you're burning the flag for what you perceive to be the bad things the country has done. it's only a symbol. It's only a piece of cloth. George Carlin burning done country My books and records are arranged according to subject, and within each subject, they're alphabetical by author or artist. The music tapes are alphabetical and the performance tapes are in chronological order.I like to control my environment, because I feel if I have my physical space in order, then I'm free to dream. George Carlin artist dream book There's some invisible guy, up in the sky, who can kill you, because he loves you. George Carlin love-you sky jesus A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner; he killed everyone he came in contact with. George Carlin loner guy people Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did. George Carlin sarcastic witty funny They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles. George Carlin cursing light darkness If I ever lose my mind I hope some honest person will find it and take it to Lost and Found. George Carlin honest humorous mind Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other people’s stuff. George Carlin stupid-people balance philosophy I was taken to the hospital for observation. I stayed several days, didn't observe anything, and I left. George Carlin observation left taken Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin inspirational life funny We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion things to suit the occasion or the person or our own needs in the moment. George Carlin fashion shapes needs