Give a man a reputation as an early riser and he can sleep 'til noon. Mark Twain More Quotes by Mark Twain More Quotes From Mark Twain Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities. Mark Twain inspirationcivilizationhistory What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce. Mark Twain inspirationallifefunny I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable. Mark Twain sarcasmtransitionsarcastic When a library expels a book of mine and leaves an unexpurgated Bible lying around where unprotected youth and age can get hold of it, the deep unconscious irony of it delights me and doesn't anger me. Mark Twain agebooklying Reality can be beaten with enough imagination. Mark Twain imaginationlifereality There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry. Mark Twain gonefoodpeople Thou shalt not commit adultry is a command which makes no distinction between the following persons. They are all required to obey it: children at birth. Children in the cradle. School children. Youths and maidens. Fresh adults. Older ones. Men and women of 40. Of 50. Of 60. Of 70. Of 80. Of 100. The command does not distribute its burden equally, and cannot. It is not hard upon the three sets of children. Mark Twain menchildrenschool I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals" (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me. Mark Twain doganimalmen If husbands could realize what large returns of profit may be gotten out of a wife by a small word of praise paid over the counter when the market is just right, they would bring matters around the way they wish them much oftener than they usually do. Arguments are unsafe with wives, because they examine them; but they do not examine compliments. One can pass upon a wife a compliment that is three-fourths base Mark Twain marriagewifehusband You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label. Mark Twain labelswinedrinking The true Southern watermelon is a boon apart, and not to be mentioned with commoner things. It is chief of this world'd luxuries, king by grace of God over all the fruits of the earth. When one has tasted it, he knows what the angels eat. It was not a Southern watermelon that Eve took: we know it because she repented. Mark Twain luxuryangelkings It's lovely to live on a raft. We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made or only just happened. Mark Twain lovelystarssky I am pushing sixty. That is enough exercise for me. Mark Twain healthhumorousfitness Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it. Mark Twain truthinspirationallife The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies. Mark Twain atheistinspirationallife To believe yourself brave is to be brave; it is the one only essential thing. Mark Twain braverycouragebelieve One may make their house a palace of sham, or they can make it a home, a refuge. Mark Twain househomemay Never do wrong when people are looking. Mark Twain people Humor is mankind's greatest blessing. Mark Twain good-lifehumorinspiration All religions issue bibles again Satan, and say the most injurious things against him, but we never hear his side. Mark Twain satanissuessides
