He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian. Woody Allen More Quotes by Woody Allen More Quotes From Woody Allen What people who don't write don't understand is that they think you make up the line consciously — but you don't. It proceeds from your unconscious. So it's the same surprise to you when it emerges as it is to the audience when the comic says it. I don't think of the joke and then say it. I say it and then realize what I've said. And I laugh at it, because I'm hearing it for the first time myself. Woody Allen writing laughing thinking I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable. Woody Allen life-and-love humorous witty Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. Woody Allen humor food funny Sylvia Plath. Interesting poetess whose tragic suicide was misinterpreted as romantic by the college-girl mentality. Woody Allen girl college suicide If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips. Woody Allen fingertips reincarnation sex The film studios learned to our dismay but to their pleasure that if they spent $200 million making a film they could make half a billion on it. So they were not interested anymore in quality films... They can't afford to be that risky at those prices. Consequently you're getting a lot of remakes, sequels, dopey comedies full of toilet jokes... Woody Allen toilets quality half And Nietzche, with his theory of eternal recurrence. He said that the life we lived we're going to live over again the exact same way for eternity. Great. That means I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again. Woody Allen ice mean way I love baseball. You know, it doesn’t have to mean anything. It’s just very beautiful to watch. Woody Allen baseball beautiful mean Enthusiasm is a good engine, but it needs intelligence for a driver. Woody Allen drivers enthusiasm needs Me sitting down for dinner with Ingmar Bergman felt like a house painter sitting down with Picasso. Woody Allen sitting-down dinner house I call that mind free which jealously guards its intellectual rights and powers, which calls no man master, which does not content itself with a passive or hereditary faith, [and] receives new truth as an angel from Heaven. Woody Allen angel rights men When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back. Woody Allen baseball softball funny Man was made in God`s image. Do you really think God has red hair and glasses? Woody Allen glasses men thinking If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. Woody Allen motivational positive inspirational Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there. Woody Allen annie-hall taught mistake I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies. Woody Allen relationship moving thinking Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. Woody Allen anniversary funny sex The heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that's that. Woody Allen heart love fall The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence. Woody Allen witty jobs art I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba. Woody Allen new-year witty funny
