How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us. Victor Borge More Quotes by Victor Borge More Quotes From Victor Borge Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad. Victor Borge never-forgetrememberhappiness Laughter is the closest distance between two people. Victor Borge cuteinspirationalrelationship A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight. Victor Borge smilecurves And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that. Victor Borge debussysaloonsplay Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year. Victor Borge christmaswittyfunny One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace. Victor Borge firehomefather Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth. Victor Borge logichumormen Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function. Victor Borge musichumorousfunny I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it. Victor Borge aginggrowingmind Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos. Victor Borge legspianopeople Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government. Victor Borge laughtergovernmenteye I do not have a single white note on my piano; my elephant smoked too much. Victor Borge pianoelephantswhite What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. Victor Borge distancelaughtertwo In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say. Victor Borge youthfoundwanted The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him. Victor Borge musichumorousfunny I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so. Victor Borge requesthas-beenscourses I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year. Victor Borge moneysarcasticfunny In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite. Victor Borge mastersdreamheaven Mendelssohn never wrote any Water Music. However, he wrote the Scotch Symphony, which is even better, or at least stronger. Victor Borge musichumorousfunny The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer. Victor Borge sarcasmsarcasticfunny
