I can't help thinking the failed New York bomber would've done far more damage if he'd simply driven throught Times Square in a Toyota. Frankie Boyle More Quotes by Frankie Boyle More Quotes From Frankie Boyle The East End of Glasgow is like the Olympics. Lots of foriegners in tracksuits struggling to speak English. Frankie Boyle humor struggle funny People who think there's no good way to die have obviously never heard the phrase 'Drug-fuelled-sex-heart-attack'. Frankie Boyle heart funny sex The only award I've been nominated for is a Scottish BAFTA. A Scottish BAFTA, it's like hearing that the animals have their own Olympics. You hear all this stuff about TV being faked. Of course it's faked. It's all faked. That documentary a couple of weeks ago about tribal warfare among monkeys, that was all filmed in a Yates wine lodge in Dundee. Comic Relief is faked. Everybody in Africa is fine. Frankie Boyle couple humor funny Does anyone actually think that Beckham knows he's in America? I think he just follows a football and all he notices is that it occasionally gets warmer. Frankie Boyle humor football funny I like storms. I like thunder and lightning. What I do during a storm is shag my girlfriend and pretend that we're taking part in the conception of the Antichrist. Frankie Boyle girlfriend humor funny Congratulations you're 18!... On a list of 20 people I'm going to kill. Frankie Boyle congratulations humor funny It turns out your not dyslexic, your just really really stupid. Frankie Boyle humor stupid funny Victoria Beckham looks like she has a dump once every four years. That's probably how David knows that there's a World Cup coming up. Frankie Boyle humor funny years Don't you think its quite weird for Prince Harry, getting really stoned and seeing your grans face appearing on your money. Frankie Boyle humor funny thinking I did Scottish footballer of the year this year, attempted to do some comedy at that. Not the brightest people in the world. There were seven O-Levels in that room, and they were all mine. Frankie Boyle humor funny years It's good they're holding the Olympics in the East End of London. Means the athletes will have to use extra skill to work out which gunshot is the starting pistol. Frankie Boyle humor funny mean When I went to school, sex education was mainly muttered warnings about the janitor. Frankie Boyle funny sex school The owners of a dog which swallowed a diamond worth £12000 had to wait three days until it re-emerged. With a bit of planning it could have been a nice way to propose. Frankie Boyle nice dog funny I don't know how long i could be a vet before i got bored and started shagging stuff. Frankie Boyle bored humor funny Apparently they're going to bring in 'Super Asbos'. But 'Asbos' already sound too cool. Teenagers see them as a badge of honour. They should call them 'Gaybos' or 'Bender Badges'. Frankie Boyle teenager humor funny They've bought out a condom now for people with premature ejaculation and they've put an anesthetic in the lining that makes you numb and you can last for longer. Or, you can wear it inside out and you don't have to wake anybody up! Frankie Boyle ejaculation humor funny Let me ask you a question. How long is too long to text someone back? My wife still thinks I died in 9/11. Frankie Boyle humor funny thinking A 66-YEAR-OLD woman has become the oldest new mum in Britain after giving birth to a baby boy. I'm amazed she needed to have a caesarean section though, you'd think at 66 she would have needed some masking tape down there just to stop it falling out. Frankie Boyle baby funny fall Jordan ran the London marathon to help raise money for the blind. After jogging that far with her body, I'm surprised she hasn't joined them! Frankie Boyle london humor funny I always wondered about that woman who had that face transplant. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count as a threesome? Frankie Boyle bed humor funny