I don’t have to walk my dog anymore. I walked him all at once. Steven Wright More Quotes by Steven Wright More Quotes From Steven Wright The older you get, the more you learn to see what you've been taught to see. When you're a kid, you see what's there. Steven Wright taught perception kids I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, 'The whole time. Steven Wright humor night funny Five out of four people have trouble with fractions. Steven Wright funny-motivational teaching math Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories. Steven Wright humor memories funny Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”? Steven Wright Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it? Steven Wright humor funny ideas When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. Steven Wright humor funny children Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? Steven Wright humor numbers funny Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.' Steven Wright desert islands book If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? Steven Wright humor doe funny Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. Steven Wright distance work fun I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. Steven Wright eyeglasses humor funny Consciousness: That annoying time between naps Steven Wright annoying naps sleep I intend to live forever. So far, so good. Steven Wright birthday life funny One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read" Steven Wright time running funny I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious! Steven Wright humor funny people I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. Steven Wright humorous food funny Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist? Steven Wright humor play funny If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? Steven Wright humor noses funny My doctor told me I shouldn't work out until I'm in better shape. I told him, 'All right; don't send me a bill until I pay you.' Steven Wright doctors work-out shapes
