I exist as an annexe of the BBC. I'm down the road a bit from the main building, in a little hut. Alexei Sayle More Quotes by Alexei Sayle More Quotes From Alexei Sayle My name is Alexei Yuri Gagarin Siege of Stalingrad Glorious Five Year Plan Sputnik Tractor Moscow Dynamo Back Four Balowski. Me Dad was a bit of a Communist, know what I mean? Alexei Sayle dadmeanyears If you travel to the States... they have a lot of different words than like what we use. For instance: they say 'elevator', we say 'lift'; they say 'drapes', we say 'curtains'; they say 'president', we say 'seriously deranged git.' Alexei Sayle differentpresidentamerica Honestly, sometimes I get really fed up of my subconscious - it's like it's got a mind of its own. Alexei Sayle fedsmindsometimes People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. Alexei Sayle motorcycle-gangsridingpeople If sitcoms were easy to write, there'd be a lot of good ones, and there aren't. Alexei Sayle sitcomeasywriting Americans have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator', we say 'lift'... they say 'President', we say 'stupid psychopathic git. Alexei Sayle presidentstupidfunny Yuri Gagarin, the first man in space, may have had his charms, but he really couldn't be considered hip. Alexei Sayle spacemaymen There's a part of me that still hates everything, and my natural view default setting is still very cynical and dark Alexei Sayle hateviewsdark If I won the lottery I'd start a charity that helped little family hardware stores, cobblers and fruit shops open in city centres. Alexei Sayle cobblerscharitycities Israel is the Jimmy Saville of nation states. Alexei Sayle nationsstatesisrael I have a lot of nice Italian winter clothes that make me look like a sophisticated Lebanese professor, so my friend Robert and I go around pretending to be experts in Arabic politics. It doesn't work in the summer though. I don't have the right clothes. Alexei Sayle nicesummerwinter A lot of those comics can't hold down relationships and they've got no other life apart from performing. They sleep in their Jags and a lot of them can't even talk. All they can do is tell gags. Alexei Sayle gagsperformingsleep Dire Straits is a great band. Someone tells you they like ""Brothers in Arms"" and immediately you know they're a stupid annoying git. Alexei Sayle bandbrotherstupid But as in all cults, what's central to the Communist Party is the belief system and the elimination of nuance. From there you're very slowly led down the road to fanaticism and mass murder. Alexei Sayle nuancepartybelief I've been going to Granada for many years and 12 years ago bought a house a few miles outside the city. Alexei Sayle citieshouseyears Even a blind dog can find a bone every so often. Alexei Sayle bonesdogopportunity I feel sorry for many politicians we expect them to be completely consistent and moralised when we're not. Alexei Sayle consistentpoliticiansorry I think that my ideas of the world are that it's random and cruel but kind of quite comical really, and therefore the humour, in a sense, springs from that. Alexei Sayle springideasthinking However, my problems with my memory are further complicated by the fact that while I don't have any recollection of things I have actually done, I have very vivid recollections of loads of things that I haven't done. Alexei Sayle vividmemoriesfacts Most of my friends are women - I quite fancied being a woman in a way. Alexei Sayle being-a-womanmy-friendsway
