I learned pretty early is I never defend my material; it's for other people to if someone is offended. It's so subjective, and if you don't find it funny, it's definitely going to be offensive. Sarah Silverman More Quotes by Sarah Silverman More Quotes From Sarah Silverman Mommy is one of the chosen people … and daddy believes that Jesus is magic! Sarah Silverman daddybelievejesus I was going to get an abortion the other day. Sarah Silverman abortionhumorfunny I was paralyzed with fear. It was unbearable to be among other kids who were just standing around being fine. It was one of the many inconveniences of this paradox I lived with -the more people I was surrounded by, the more frighteningly alone I felt. Sarah Silverman unbearablekidspeople I will always try to be happy. I don’t think people really understand the value of happiness until they know what it’s like to be in that very, very dark place. It’s not romantic. Not even a little. Sarah Silverman darkpeoplethinking When you’re a bed wetter there’s only one group of people you can feel better than, bed shitters, and unfortunately they’re hard to come by. Sarah Silverman bedfeel-betterpeople I don't care if you think I'm racist. I just want you to think I'm thin. Sarah Silverman humorfunnythinking People say I'm a nice girl saying terrible things. I tend to say the opposite of what I think. You hope that the absolute power of that transcends, and reaches the audience. Sarah Silverman nicegirlthinking When I was 9 or 10 years old, my dad took me over to a neighboring farm to help get stuff for the meal. The farmer, Vic, told me to look at all the turkeys and pick one out. I saw a cute one with a silly walk and cried, 'Him!' Before my pointing finger had even dropped to my side, Vic had grabbed the turkey by the neck and slit [the animal's] throat. Blood and feathers went flying. I had sentenced that turkey to death! Up until then, I didn't know where meat came from—and I've been a vegetarian ever since. Sarah Silverman dadsillycute I really think everything is fair game. Sarah Silverman comedygamesthinking And then before going back for my sophomore year, I decided to change my major to arts and sciences, and my dad cut a deal with me: He said if I'd quit school he'd pay my rent for the next three years, as if I were in school. Sarah Silverman dadfunnyart I was raped by a doctor. Which is, you know, so bittersweet for a Jewish girl. Sarah Silverman doctorsgirlfunny When I came out to L. A., I got a part in an episode of 'Star Trek: Voyager,' and I hired an acting coach. Sarah Silverman episodesactingstars Smells definitely do have a crazy impact on me. Sarah Silverman smellimpactcrazy If I have kids, I'll adopt. Sarah Silverman ifskids I have a ton of Holocaust stuff, and some of it is really hard core. Sarah Silverman holocausthumorfunny I like my life alone. Sarah Silverman Men like to squash you. I just want someone who's happy with himself, happy with his life. He doesn't have to squash mine. Sarah Silverman squashwantmen They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle. Sarah Silverman unclesparentfun But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it's funny enough. Sarah Silverman humorfunnythinking Growing up, I always loved Disney movies, but the first movie I remember seeing is 'Sleepers,' so I wasn't really taken to children's movies. Sarah Silverman growing-uptakenchildren
