In the Third World, honk your horn only under the following circumstances: 1. When anything blocks the road. 2. When anything doesn't. 3. When anything might. 4. At red lights. 5. At green lights. 6. At all other times. P. J. O'Rourke More Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke More Quotes From P. J. O'Rourke Smoking crack is a way for people who couldn't afford college to study the works of Charles Darwin. P. J. O'Rourke college smoking people I have a 10 year old at home, and she is always saying, 'That's not fair.' When she says that, I say, "Honey, you're cute; that's not fair. Your family is pretty well off; that's not fair. You were born in America; that's not fair. Honey, you had better pray to God that things don't start getting fair for you. P. J. O'Rourke home cute america Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power. P. J. O'Rourke stupid-people ignorance drinking Good manners consist of doing precisely what everyone thinks should be done, especially when no one knows quite what that is. P. J. O'Rourke good-man done thinking Liberalism is just Communism sold by the drink. P. J. O'Rourke liberalism drink communism The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it. P. J. O'Rourke government people ideas I can understand why mankind hasn't given up war. During a war you get to drive tanks through the sides of buildings and shoot foreigners - two things that are usually frowned on during peacetime. P. J. O'Rourke tanks war two African famine is not a visitation of fate. It is largely man-made, and the men who made it are largely Africans. P. J. O'Rourke fate he-man men It is a popular delusion that the government wastes vast amounts of money through inefficiency and sloth. Enormous effort and elaborate planning are required to waste this much money. P. J. O'Rourke effort government sloth Maybe a nation that consumes as much booze and dope as we do and has our kind of divorce statistics should pipe down about "character issues." P. J. O'Rourke divorce dope character You know, if government were a product, selling it would be illegal. Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have. P. J. O'Rourke liberty government people If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. P. J. O'Rourke humor inspirational thinking America is not a wily, sneaky nation. We don't think that way. We don't think much at all, thank God. Start thinking and pretty soon you get ideas, and then you get idealism, and the next thing you know you've got ideology, with millions dead in concentration camps and gulags. P. J. O'Rourke humorous funny thinking Most of the people who have grabbed hold of climate change and greenhouse gases, pollution, oil dependency - they have another motive, and their motive is to attain the appearance of virtue without having actually done anything virtuous. P. J. O'Rourke oil climate people There are twenty-seven specific complaints against the British Crown set forth in the Declaration of Independence. To modern ears they still sound reasonable. They still sound reasonable, in large part, because so many of them can be leveled against the federal government of the United States. P. J. O'Rourke independence government twenties Politics is the business of getting power and privilege without possessing merit P. J. O'Rourke possessing merit privilege The Three Branches of Government: Money, Television, and Bullshit P. J. O'Rourke bullshit three government Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. P. J. O'Rourke money inspirational funny These were people who believed everything about the Soviet Union was perfect, but they were bringing their own toilet paper. P. J. O'Rourke toilets perfect people Term limits aren't enough. We need jail. P. J. O'Rourke term-limits jail needs
