My mother always said you could eat off her floor; you could eat of my floor too, there's so much food down there. Elayne Boosler More Quotes by Elayne Boosler More Quotes From Elayne Boosler What do hookers do on their nights off, type? Elayne Boosler type night I can't get married. I can't fake sleep for 30 years. Elayne Boosler fake sleep years Stand-up is like a movie every night. You write it, direct it, produce it, the audience votes, and you go home. There's nothing more satisfying. Elayne Boosler movie home writing I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. Elayne Boosler women inspirational funny I don't categorize myself. I don't think I'm perceived as a female act by my audience. My fans include just as many men as women. Elayne Boosler fans men thinking I’ve thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent. Elayne Boosler pages able intelligent I personally cannot tell you how many times we rescuers put our names on animals to come to us as soon as they are eligible for release, only to find they have been senselessly killed by overzealous pound workers. Elayne Boosler pounds names animal I never minded flying cheap. I always said to myself, 'Taking this flight saves enough money to rescue four dogs, or six cats, or will let me make a difference to the one woman saving chimps in Cameroon.' Elayne Boosler cat differences dog I love being down at Occupy Wall Street. The sincerity, the youth involvement, the desire for better, is palpable and moving. There is true caring, sharing, and refreshingly naïve hope. Elayne Boosler wall caring moving My family was totally non-religious. There was no question we were Jewish, but we were not observant. Elayne Boosler non-religious my-family religious I deliver very traditionally, and people aren't threatened. I think if I cursed or seemed wilder, I couldn't get away with the amount of very opinionated politics I get away with. Elayne Boosler get-away people thinking I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food. Elayne Boosler weight america ideas San Francisco is really fun and liberal, and it's my kind of politics. It's like being Jewish in front of Jewish people. Elayne Boosler san-francisco fun people Sometimes, if you really don't know how you feel about a topic, reading how both sides argue it can help. Elayne Boosler topics reading sides Calgary wins for my coldest New Year's Eve gig. That's when I learned Fahrenheit and Celsius cross at 40 below. I could see callers' breath coming out of my phone. Elayne Boosler new-year phones winning The message of great art is to disturb. Elayne Boosler great-art messages art Incredibly, almost every hotel I ever played in Vegas was blown up shortly afterward: The Dunes, The Sands, The Landmark, The Aladdin, The Frontier, The Hacienda, The Stardust - all were imploded. Elayne Boosler stardust sand vegas I run everywhere and eavesdrop. It's the best way to see a city. Elayne Boosler cities running way We've seen the uproars around the world concerning cartoons depicting the prophet Mohammad. Anyone who does not think comic strips are relevant never had a fatwa put on him/her for drawing a picture. Elayne Boosler drawing cartoon thinking I've never been able to write for stand-up. Elayne Boosler able writing
