Never trust anybody with only one book. Billy Connolly More Quotes by Billy Connolly More Quotes From Billy Connolly I'd always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes. Billy Connolly scared found people I don't think I've ever died on stage. I've had jokes that died on stage. I've told a joke and absolutely nothing. They didn't know it was the end of the joke. Billy Connolly jokes thinking I think comedy is difficult, and I'm amazed so many people want to do it. I'll be buying jeans and somebody will say, "I'm a comedian" - the guy selling you the jeans. The desire to be a comedian is weird. I found it weird myself to want to be one; I was a schoolboy when I wanted to be one but I didn't know how to do it. That was 50 years ago, so times have changed greatly. There seems to be a long line of people desperate to do it and most of them are quite good. Billy Connolly long people thinking I've been very lucky because I've always had movies to do. So if I got bored between shows a movie would turn up. Billy Connolly bored lucky shows I love Scotland and I speak about it a lot, so people think I'm desperate to go back. They just take it upon themselves to say I'm going back, but I'm not. I'd rather concentrate on becoming a citizen of the world. Billy Connolly scotland people thinking Don't work out, work in. Billy Connolly work-out Outgrew the media... The negativity felt like a disease. Billy Connolly negativity media disease I always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of my hand and give me a pound. Billy Connolly issues hands people Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires! Billy Connolly fire forests tree I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless. Billy Connolly make-you-think blow thinking People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need. Billy Connolly toilets people needs Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words. Billy Connolly music-is language sorry People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually. Billy Connolly arses people rooms The more you know the less the better. Billy Connolly knows I am totally, absolutely romantic. When I broke up with a girl I would listen to the most heart-breaking music and make it worse. That's what girls do. I think I am a girl really. Billy Connolly girl heart thinking If you haven't heard a good rumour by 11:00am, start one. Billy Connolly rumours heard havens Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways. Billy Connolly sideways looks The religion in Scotland is one of the most patronising things... after the weather. Billy Connolly scotland weather religion If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name? Billy Connolly humor funny jesus My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo. Billy Connolly parent pet zoos
