Sometimes some of the best moments are contributed by the actors being creative, with their own improvisations. Woody Allen More Quotes by Woody Allen More Quotes From Woody Allen I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba. Woody Allen new-yearwittyfunny I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead. Woody Allen oysterswittyfood The only thing standing between me and greatness is me. Woody Allen greatnesshumorouswitty People think I'm an artist because my films lose money. Woody Allen artistpeoplethinking It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more. Woody Allen humorfunnybook I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown. Woody Allen humorfunnyscience In New York State they have a strange law that says you can't get a divorce unless you can prove adultery - and it's weird, because the Ten Commandments say 'Thou shalt not commit adultery.' But New York State says you have to. Well, finally, what happened was that my wife committed adultery for me. She's always been more mechanically inclined than I have. Woody Allen divorcenew-yorklaw Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing. Woody Allen wittyfunsex I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. Woody Allen warfunnybook I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. Woody Allen educationinspirationalfunny Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic. Woody Allen catholichumorouswitty ... years of insanity have made this guy crazy! Woody Allen crazyhumorfunny Talent is luck. The important thing in life is courage. Woody Allen things-in-lifepowerfulluck I am an only child. I have one sister. Woody Allen familyfunnychildren My grandfather was a very insignificant man, actually. At his funeral his hearse followed the other cars. Woody Allen funeralcarmen A fast word about oral contraception. I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'. Woody Allen bedgirltwo Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it's still the only place where you can get a decent steak. Woody Allen mayrealityworld I am told the settlement of $5 million I am being paid is the largest amount ever paid under the New York right to privacy law Woody Allen privacynew-yorklaw Me and nature are two. Woody Allen environmentaltwo In the shower, with the hot water coming down, you've left the real world behind, and very frequently things open up for you. It's the change of venue, the unblocking the attempt to force the ideas that's crippling you when you're trying to write. Woody Allen realwritingideas
