Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about "New Car Interior"? Rita Rudner More Quotes by Rita Rudner More Quotes From Rita Rudner My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry. Rita Rudner pain husband mean I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable. Rita Rudner shy too-much conversation When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third. Rita Rudner pirouettes dancer firsts Men who drink herbal teas are seldom serial killers. Rita Rudner humor men funny I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962. Rita Rudner humor loss funny I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur. Rita Rudner fur waste cat When men break up they want to remain friends. Why? Why can't they just get lost? Rita Rudner heartache want men I knew so little about money I used to sign my check, "Love, Rita." Rita Rudner money littles love Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before. Rita Rudner sarcasm sarcastic mother I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow. Rita Rudner turkeys mother food Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog. Rita Rudner los-angeles towns dog Men who write love letters don't live in this century. Rita Rudner letters writing men If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires. Rita Rudner money humor funny Men will now get up and walk with the baby in the middle of the night, change its diapers, and give it a bottle, but in their heart of hearts they still think they shouldn't have to. Rita Rudner heart baby night Buying something on sale is a very special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it is worth to me. Rita Rudner shopping special feelings Men don't get cellulite. God might just be a man. Rita Rudner humorous men funny Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary; the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag. Rita Rudner pregnancy baby two Nobody is really happy with what's on their head. People with straight hair want curly, people with curly want straight, and bald people want everyone to be blind. Rita Rudner want hair people Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore. Rita Rudner humor sleep funny I had teeth that stuck out so far, I used to eat other kids' candy bars by accident. Rita Rudner teeth bars kids