You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car. Jeff Foxworthy More Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy More Quotes From Jeff Foxworthy Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately. Jeff Foxworthy funny-marriage wife looks If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck. Jeff Foxworthy humor home funny I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods. Jeff Foxworthy real play golf The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house. Jeff Foxworthy humor jobs funny You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos. Jeff Foxworthy redneck tattoo house You might be a redneck if there are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard. Jeff Foxworthy redneck car block You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary. Jeff Foxworthy redneck church war Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same. Jeff Foxworthy redneck dna causes Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning. Jeff Foxworthy gun dog morning That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. Jeff Foxworthy comedy phones humorous You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand. Jeff Foxworthy redneck humor funny If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married. Jeff Foxworthy gay games football I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it. Jeff Foxworthy someday stamps america My whole career can be summed up with 'Ignorance is bliss.' When you do not know better, you do not really worry about failing. Jeff Foxworthy careers ignorance worry People should see your faith. If all you do is talk about your faith and people don't see it, but they ought to see it in the way you treat your family, you treat your friends, you treat your community. Jeff Foxworthy community people way If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck. Jeff Foxworthy redneck kissing mother I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead Jeff Foxworthy wife real blue When you're young and you get to choose between sleep and sex you take sex everytime. You start getting older, you get to choose between sleep and sex, you choose sleep and just hope you have a dream about sex. Jeff Foxworthy dream funny sex If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck. Jeff Foxworthy redneck gentleman thinking If you don't have anything good to say about someone, you must be talking about Hillary Clinton. Jeff Foxworthy clinton ifs talking
