You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn. Jeff Foxworthy More Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy More Quotes From Jeff Foxworthy Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity Jeff Foxworthy clintonsacrificehumanity You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard. Jeff Foxworthy redneckentrepreneurthinking You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids. Jeff Foxworthy redneckkidsschool You might be a redneck if your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A. Jeff Foxworthy redneckexhibitsmight You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels. Jeff Foxworthy redneckshoesnumbers The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!' Jeff Foxworthy humordoorsfunny You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink. Jeff Foxworthy redneckkitchenuse You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs. Jeff Foxworthy redneckpeoplethinking You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states. Jeff Foxworthy redneckoffensivemight By the time we get to church, I need church cuz I've been yelled at by everyone in the family. Jeff Foxworthy churchhumorfunny You might be a redneck if you work with a shirt off... and so does your husband. Jeff Foxworthy redneckhusbanddoe You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in. Jeff Foxworthy redneckcostdog You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not. Jeff Foxworthy redneckhouseworry You might be a redneck if you think Silence of the Lambs is what happens when Larry walks out to the barn. Jeff Foxworthy rednecksilencethinking You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor. Jeff Foxworthy redneckdown-andgirlfriend You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace. Jeff Foxworthy redneckcashover-you You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men. Jeff Foxworthy redneckmightmen You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in. Jeff Foxworthy redneckoilmight When I did the sitcom I was too naive. I thought, Well, they know what they're talking about, let's do that. Jeff Foxworthy sitcomwellstalking Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window! Jeff Foxworthy shootingcarschool