Quotes by Hilarious People say women shouldn't have long hair over a certain age, but I've never done what everyone says. Jane Seymour hilarious hair inspiring I went out with a promiscuous impressionist. She did everybody. Jay London hilarious women funny The prettiest dresses are worn to be taken off. Jean Cocteau hilarious sexy funny I've had great success being a total idiot. Jerry Lewis hilarious idiot success People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to. Jerry Seinfeld hilarious lying people If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? Jerry Seinfeld hilarious inspirational funny Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash. Jerry Seinfeld hilarious witty funny Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light'; but with twenty per cent fewer letters. Jerry Seinfeld hilarious twenties light Is this chicken or is this fish? Jessica Simpson fishes hilarious chickens I'm not anorexic. I'm from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I've never heard of one. And that includes me. Jessica Simpson hilarious texas stupid A conclusion is the place you get to when you’re tired of thinking. Jill Shalvis hilarious tired humor Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat. Jim Davis hilarious witty funny I see myself as an intelligent, sensitive human, with the soul of a clown which forces me to blow it at the most important moments. Jim Morrison hilarious intelligent blow I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. Joan Rivers hilarious hate funny Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery. Joan Rivers sailing hilarious pay A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp. Joan Rivers hilarious mistake funny A genius is one who can do anything except make a living. Joey Lauren Adams hilarious inspirational funny I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days. Jon Stewart hilarious funny country I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character. Jon Stewart hilarious adults character Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men. Joseph Conrad strong-women hilarious funny «1234567891011»