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Quotes by Redneck

Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication by Jeff Foxworthy

Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication

Jeff Foxworthy
sophistication redneck absence
You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a hair... by Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

Jeff Foxworthy
redneck tupperware party
You might be a redneck if you've ever stared at a can of orange j... by Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate.

Jeff Foxworthy
orange-juice redneck might

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.

Jeff Foxworthy
redneck humor funny
You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you... by Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.

Jeff Foxworthy
groundhog-day redneck believe

You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.

Jeff Foxworthy
redneck wall wife

You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

Jeff Foxworthy
redneck tattoo house
You might be a redneck if there are four or more cars up on block... by Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if there are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.

Jeff Foxworthy
redneck car block

You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.

Jeff Foxworthy
redneck church war

Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.

Jeff Foxworthy
redneck dna causes
You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a firewor... by Jeff Foxworthy

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

Jeff Foxworthy
redneck humor funny

If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck.

Jeff Foxworthy
redneck kissing mother

If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck.

Jeff Foxworthy
redneck gentleman thinking
You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the wo... by Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.

Jeff Foxworthy
redneck rats might
You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bis... by Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

Jeff Foxworthy
redneck dad giving

You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.

Jeff Foxworthy
redneck shoes grandma

You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.

Jeff Foxworthy
redneck grandfather might
You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on you... by Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.

Jeff Foxworthy
redneck killers weed
You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job -... by Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

Jeff Foxworthy
redneck jobs two

Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.

Jeff Foxworthy
redneck portfolios people
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