Quotes by Redneck Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication Jeff Foxworthy sophistication redneck absence You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut. Jeff Foxworthy redneck tupperware party You might be a redneck if you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate. Jeff Foxworthy orange-juice redneck might If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck. Jeff Foxworthy redneck humor funny You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it. Jeff Foxworthy groundhog-day redneck believe You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock. Jeff Foxworthy redneck wall wife You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos. Jeff Foxworthy redneck tattoo house You might be a redneck if there are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard. Jeff Foxworthy redneck car block You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary. Jeff Foxworthy redneck church war Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same. Jeff Foxworthy redneck dna causes You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand. Jeff Foxworthy redneck humor funny If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck. Jeff Foxworthy redneck kissing mother If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck. Jeff Foxworthy redneck gentleman thinking You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat. Jeff Foxworthy redneck rats might You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday. Jeff Foxworthy redneck dad giving You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco. Jeff Foxworthy redneck shoes grandma You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion. Jeff Foxworthy redneck grandfather might You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it. Jeff Foxworthy redneck killers weed You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray. Jeff Foxworthy redneck jobs two Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates. Jeff Foxworthy redneck portfolios people «1234567891011»