Everyone smiles in the same language. George Carlin More Quotes by George Carlin More Quotes From George Carlin I kind of like it when a lot of people die, and on the other hand I always wonder how many unused frequent-flier miles they had. George Carlin kind hands people In high school, when I first heard of entropy, I was attracted to it immediately. They said that in nature all systems are breaking down, and I thought, What a wonderful thing; perhaps I can make some small contribution to this process, myself. George Carlin humorous school firsts I think it would be fair and right to use some of my land and wealth for a drug-rehab center or an Indian school. George Carlin land school thinking You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like; generally, it's an inconvenience. George Carlin schedules hate humorous Think of how strange we'd look if all the cuts, burns, scrapes, bruises, scratches, bumps, gashes, and scabs we ever had suddenly reappeared on our bodies at the same time. George Carlin scratches cutting thinking The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to. George Carlin stealth cocaine use You know, if a drug has anything going for it at all, it should be self-limiting. It should tell you when you've had enough. Acid and peyote were that way for me. George Carlin going-for-it drug self When people asked me, "Do you get high to go onstage?" I could never understand the question. I mean, I'd been high since eight that morning. George Carlin eight morning mean In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use the shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line. In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! I hope I'll be safe at home! George Carlin baseball football sports There are a lot of little things about our bodies that we all know, but we never talk about. That's what interests me. These are practically universal experiences; nobody mentions them! Some of them are disgusting. Some of them are appallingly revolting and degrading even to the most degenerate mind. So let's get started with a couple of them. George Carlin couple mind littles Political discourse has been reduced to "Where's the beef?" "Read my lips," and "Make my day." Where are the assassins when we really need them? George Carlin beef political needs Irony deals with opposites; it has nothing to do with coincidence. George Carlin irony coincidence opposites I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick. and then walking after it! An then ..hitting it again! George Carlin hitting humorous thinking I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show. George Carlin saws midnight kids I don't believe there's any problem in this country, no matter how tough it is, that Americans, when they roll up their sleeves, can't completely ignore. George Carlin matter believe country You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. George Carlin execution texas funny I use the [vulgar] words because apparently these words do not corrupt morally. I'm from the street in New York, hung around in a tough neighborhood. It was common to curse, you make your point. It's a very effective language. I try not to overdo it. It's never to shock. I know where it fits, it's never to shock. There's no shock value left in words. George Carlin use new-york trying I just love it when I hear a little commotion, someone leaving. When I see those doors in the back . . . George Carlin leaving doors littles If people stand in a circle long enough, they'll eventually begin to dance. George Carlin circles long people Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians! George Carlin stupid sports jesus
