... it's simply wrong to always order [kids] to stop that fighting. There are times when one child is simply defending his rights and damned well should be fighting. Erma Bombeck More Quotes by Erma Bombeck More Quotes From Erma Bombeck The fact that Americans drag around the world by the busloads to glimpse the past probably has something to do with the youth of our country. We revere anything older than George Burns. Erma Bombeck humorous funny country Limousines used to be reserved for the ruling class, or, on special occasions, for the working class. Today, limousines are like taxicabs with the door handles still intact. Erma Bombeck humor doors funny I originate from a family where sauce is viewed as a refreshment. Erma Bombeck refreshments thanksgiving sauce Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage. Erma Bombeck damage done brain I was a closet pacifier advocate. So were most of my friends. Unknown to our mothers, we owned thirty or forty of those little suckers that were placed strategically around the house so a cry could be silenced in less than thirty seconds. Even though bottles were boiled, rooms disinfected, and germs fought one on one, no one seemed to care where the pacifier had been. Erma Bombeck bottles mother house Most children's first words are 'Mama' or 'Daddy.' Mine were, 'Do I have to use my own money?' Erma Bombeck daddy use children Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated. Erma Bombeck graduation pregnancy school I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, “Never mind! I'll do it myself. Erma Bombeck my-children mind children It is fast approaching the point where I don't want tAdenauer to want the job. Erma Bombeck want jobs Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood. Erma Bombeck cleanliness toasters next I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. Erma Bombeck vegetarian fighting way What does it profit a 78-year-old woman to sit around the pool in a bikini if she cannot feed herself? Erma Bombeck bikinis doe years A child develops individuality long before he develops taste. Erma Bombeck individuality long children I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It's just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope. Erma Bombeck humorous food funny My sister and I never engaged in sibling rivalry. Our parents weren't that crazy about either one of us. Erma Bombeck sister sibling crazy Men who have a thirty-six-tele vised-football- games-a- week-habit should be declared legally dead and their estates probated. Erma Bombeck games football men Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species. Erma Bombeck humor funny kids I've always been intrigued with the variety of answers this generation will give their children who ask, "Where did I come from, Mommy?" They will range from "Number 176 vial in Buffalo, New York," to "You were defrosted." Erma Bombeck new-york baby funny House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad. Erma Bombeck literature house long For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy. Erma Bombeck lasts literature easy
