My golf game is getting real good. Last week, I got through the windmill. Rodney Dangerfield More Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield More Quotes From Rodney Dangerfield I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others. He gave my one with four cavities. Rodney Dangerfield teeth four want I can't get no respect. Rodney Dangerfield no-respect complaints complaining Dad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn't, so he nailed down my other foot! Rodney Dangerfield dad running funny My boy is a mean kid. I came home the other day and saw him taping worms to the sidewalk, he sits there and watches the birds get hernias. Well, only last Christmas I gave him a B-B gun and he gave me a sweatshirt with a bulls-eye on the back. I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own." One of them said, "So will you." Rodney Dangerfield home mean kids What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me! Rodney Dangerfield childhood men firsts Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury. Rodney Dangerfield groups wife sex You take care and I hope I'll run into you - when I'm driving. Rodney Dangerfield driving care running If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong. Rodney Dangerfield ass pain sex I once asked a policeman how far it was to the subway. he said, "I don't know, no one has ever made it". Rodney Dangerfield subway humor funny My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend. Rodney Dangerfield boyfriend cute funny I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms. Rodney Dangerfield girl humor funny My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing. Rodney Dangerfield saws wife lasts His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings. Rodney Dangerfield humor blow funny When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. ... and no one showed up. Rodney Dangerfield custody fighting parent I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her. Rodney Dangerfield girl humor funny I tell ya, sex is getting harder all the time. Me and my wife were trying to have sex for hours last night and I finally gave up. I asked her, "what, you can't think of anybody either?" Rodney Dangerfield humor funny sex I'm at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to. Rodney Dangerfield girl humorous funny My dog learned how to beg by watching me through the bedroom door. Rodney Dangerfield bedroom dog doors I get no respect... I tell you, when I was born, the doctor smacked my mother Rodney Dangerfield no-respect doctors mother I tell ya, I don't get no respect ... Last week, my wife told me that she was going to cut me down to twice a month. But I thought about it, and I figured that it wasn't too bad. I know a couple of guys that she cut out completely. Rodney Dangerfield couple humor funny
