You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car. Jeff Foxworthy More Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy More Quotes From Jeff Foxworthy That's just something instinctual within men. We always feel like we've got to protect our stuff. Even if it's not worth protecting, we want to protect it. You ever seen people who have like a piece of crap Pinto with a Club on the steering wheel. Somebody breaks the window, steals the Club, leaves the Pinto in a pile of glass. Jeff Foxworthy humor men funny Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating. Jeff Foxworthy louisiana too-much eating Women in bed are like Diesel engines. What I mean by that is, it may take them a while to get going, but when you do, they can go for a long, long time. Whereas men are like... bottle rockets. Jeff Foxworthy men long mean You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day. Jeff Foxworthy redneck limits might It's not my dreams that get me in trouble, it's what my wife dreams I did. My wife punched me in the middle of the night; I woke up and went Oww! What was that for?, and she goes I dreamt you were making out with Faith Hill. I said I wasn't dreaming anything! Send her over to my dreams, and we'll both be happy. Jeff Foxworthy wife dream night If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married. Jeff Foxworthy gay lasts sex You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you. Jeff Foxworthy wife break house You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police! Jeff Foxworthy redneck phrases police You might be a redneck if your daughter's Barbie's Dream House has a clothesline in the front yard. Jeff Foxworthy redneck daughter dream Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here. Jeff Foxworthy generations sex thinking Thank God I'm at that point in my career where I don't have to take stuff that I don't really want to do. Jeff Foxworthy thank-god careers want I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is. Jeff Foxworthy news watches thinking You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom. Jeff Foxworthy redneck toilets paper The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe; it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine. Jeff Foxworthy humor knowing funny You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, My other car is a combine. Jeff Foxworthy redneck car might If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck. Jeff Foxworthy redneck humor funny Buying a used rental car is kind of like going to a house of ill repute looking for a wife. Anything that's been driven that hard by that many people, you really don't want to put your key in it. Jeff Foxworthy wife keys people You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer. Jeff Foxworthy redneck dresses might You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth. Jeff Foxworthy redneck teeth party You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse. Jeff Foxworthy redneck vienna wife
