Quotes by Humor Old is always fifteen years from now. Bill Cosby humor birthday funny The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague. Bill Cosby humor law funny My father established our relationship when I was seven years old. He looked at me and said, “You know, I brought you in this world, and I can take you out. And it don't make no difference to me, I'll make another one look just like you. Bill Cosby humor funny father You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it. Bill Cosby laughter humor life Suddenly, this romantic agony was enriched by a less romantic one: I had to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, I couldn't let her know about this urge, for great lovers never did such things. The answer to "Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?" was not "In the men's room, Julie. Bill Cosby humor funny art Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them. Bill Cosby humor civilization funny The worst thing to do is to die while reading LIFE magazine. Bill Cosby humor reading funny Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much. Bill Cosby humor funny children My father would pass gas and then blame it on imaginary animals. Bill Cosby humor funny father A sail boat that sails backwards can never see the sun rise. Bill Cosby humor sun funny A grandchild is God's reward for raising a child. Bill Cosby humor funny children Why do I have to feed the kids? They just ate twelve hours ago! Bill Cosby humor funny kids I said to a guy, "Tell me, what is it about cocaine that makes it so wonderful," and he said, "Because it intensifies your personality." I said, "Yes, but what if you're an asshole?" Bill Cosby humor personality funny The weatherman is always right. It's just his timing that's off. Bill Cosby timing humor funny Now, this is the fun part about getting stoned. They get stoned, then they become paranoid. Now, when they started out, they said, "Let's get high and have fun." So they're high; now they're paranoid. "Am I falling out of this chair?" Bill Cosby humor funny fall My mother comes in my room and says, "Just look at this mess! This is a pig sty!" Now, I've already been in the room five hours, and she wants me to LOOK at it. Bill Cosby humor mother funny Gray hair is God's graffiti. Bill Cosby humor god funny Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger. Bill Cosby humor men funny Dentists tell you not to pick your teeth with any sharp metal object. Then you sit in their chair and the first thing they grab is an iron hook. Bill Cosby iron humor funny The dentist drills some more and you hear him make a mistake. And to cover it up, they all say the same thing: "Okay, rinse." Bill Cosby humor mistake funny «910111213141516171819»