Quotes by Humor Yes. Yes, when we live our life like 1950s detective films. I often go to my fridge, "Hullo, we're out of milk. I say mother, where's the milk?" Bill Bailey humor mother funny I once punched a bloke in the face for saying 'Hawk the Slayer' was rubbish, when what I should have said 'Dad, you're wrong.' Bill Bailey dad humor funny There we go, that's it. I just hold my hand in this position for the next couple of hours. Bill Bailey couple humor funny The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die. Bill Bailey alive humor funny I am Zebedee, lord of the woods! Bow down snail, I have dominion! Bill Bailey woods humor funny Relaxed Empiricism -- I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened. Bill Bailey humor funny believe I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department. Bill Bailey humor organization funny But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is more like "Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!" Bill Bailey humor funny country Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently. Bill Bailey humor talking funny "God save our gracious Queen": Why would we invoke a non-specific deity to bail out these unelected spongers? Bill Bailey queens humor funny Welcome to the O2. A unique building in Dublin, in that it is actually finished. Bill Bailey humor unique funny Stupid National Anthem... Look at this flag; Two bears fighting over a pineapple. What kind of message does that send to the world? "Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit." Bill Bailey humor stupid funny I think we've missed a trick there. We could develop wheat with the properties of Velcro... to catch whatever it is that's forming those crop circles! But then the spaceship would have to have the corresponding Velcro, so it's a bit of a long shot. Bill Bailey humor funny thinking I am a confectionery-based existentialist. Bill Bailey existentialist humor funny Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative. Bill Bailey humor would-be funny Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it's a Weasel with a Cheese finish. Bill Bailey cheese humor funny When you tell an Iowan a joke, you can see a kind of race going on between his brain and his expression. Bill Bryson humor race funny The only thing that you can get into without a lot of trouble is a lot of trouble. Bill Cosby humor trouble funny Nobody ever says, "Can I have your beets? Bill Cosby beets humor funny I wasn't always black... there was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger. Bill Cosby humor race funny «89101112131415161718»