Quotes by Witty With the possible exception of clothes, beauty salons and Frank Sinatra, there are few subjects all women agree upon. Groucho Marx humorouswittyfunny Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication Groucho Marx communicationwittyfunny Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe. H. G. Wells educationwittyappreciation My plans are still in embryo, a town on the edge of wishful thinking. Groucho Marx humorouswittyfunny Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you're probably watching the wrong channel. Groucho Marx humorouswittyfunny Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor. Groucho Marx humorouswittyfunny It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man. H. L. Mencken humorouswittyfunny The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar. Groucho Marx liarswittyfunny You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it. Gilbert K. Chesterton truthspiritualwitty Any place I hang my head is home. Groucho Marx humorouswittyfunny If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance. George Bernard Shaw dancewittyinspirational Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo. H. G. Wells jealousyhumorouswitty Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. Groucho Marx wittylovefunny I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's. Groucho Marx herowittyfunny And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off! Groucho Marx humorouswittyfunny Do you mind if I don't smoke? Groucho Marx humorouswittyfunny There is nothing stronger in the world than gentleness. Han Suyin strengthwittyinspirational I've been around so long, I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin. Groucho Marx wittyfunnysex You're a great brother. You give us a heart attack worrying about your heart attack, which you didn't even have the decency to have! Groucho Marx brotherwittyfunny Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses. Groucho Marx humorouswittyfunny«2122232425262728293031»
