Quotes by Funny I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating. Adam Carolla nice humor funny All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle. Adam Carolla humor want funny I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that. Adam Carolla humor funny two I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it. Adam Carolla crazy lonely funny I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something. Adam Carolla differences humor funny He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome. Adam Carolla guy humor funny Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible. Adam Carolla humor giving funny When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13. Adam Carolla growing-up humor funny You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting. Adam Carolla humor home funny I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind. Adam Carolla humor funny two Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian. Adam Carolla humor funny thinking When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy! Adam Carolla kings funny sex I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid. Adam Carolla dad humor funny Everyone keeps saying, "Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating." It's like saying, "How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt?" I don't care. Adam Carolla care humor funny A man's respect for law and order exists in precise relationship to the size of his paycheck. Adam Clayton Powell, Jr. respect inspirational funny As soon as you lay down, that's when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. 'Goodnight, baby.' 'Do you think we were together in a past life?' 'Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.' 'Don't you feel like we're soul...' Adam Ferrara humor baby funny What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why! Adam Ferrara what-if humor funny There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil. Adam Ferrara humor religious funny My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.' Adam Ferrara funny father sex Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something. Adam Ferrara humor funny moving «1234567891011»