Quotes by Funny A hick town is one where there is no place to go where you shouldn't go. Alexander Woollcott places-to-go humor funny So heavy is the chain of wedlock that it needs two to carry it, and sometimes three. Alexandre Dumas marriage witty funny Americans have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator', we say 'lift'... they say 'President', we say 'stupid psychopathic git. Alexei Sayle president stupid funny Really, the potential for, first of all, any college graduate today is enormously good. These are good times for anyone with a college degree today, particularly African Americans. With a college degree today, you really breach the unemployment rate. Alexis Herman graduation inspirational funny Wherever I have gone in this country, I have found Americans. Alf Landon dumb funny country The true God, the mighty God, is the God of ideas. Alfred de Vigny sarcastic funny ideas Puns are the highest form of literature. Alfred Hitchcock form literature funny The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder. Alfred Hitchcock movie humor funny I never said all actors are cattle; what I said was all actors should be treated like cattle. Alfred Hitchcock acting sarcastic funny There is nothing so good as a burial at sea. It is simple, tidy, and not very incriminating. Alfred Hitchcock simple sea funny Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs. Alfred Hitchcock smart witty funny Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some. Alfred Hitchcock sarcastic funny death 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Alfred Lord Tennyson love life funny Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell. Alfred Lord Tennyson women funny heaven Old age hath yet his honour and his toil. Alfred Lord Tennyson toil age funny Seeing you lights up my day, to hear your voice makes me smile all cheesy, to see you smile makes my heart all warm and fuzzy, when you say I love you makes my body weak. Alice Gardner love-you heart funny The difficulty about all this dying, is that you can't tell a fellow anything about it, so where does the fun come in? Alice James dying funny death If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me. Alice Roosevelt Longworth nice witty funny Never trust a man who combs his hair straight from his left armpit. Alice Roosevelt Longworth hair men funny If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me. Alice Roosevelt Longworth humor say-anything funny «678910111213141516»