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Quotes by Funny

Happiness is like coke — something you get as a by-product in the process of making something else.

Aldous Huxley
positive happiness funny
His lie ability is an asset by Alec Sulkin

His lie ability is an asset

Alec Sulkin
assets funny lying

One of the reasons there are so many terms for conditions of ice is that the mariners observing it were often trapped in it, and had nothing to do except look at it.

Alec Wilkinson
ice inspirational funny
Everything you add to the truth subtracts from the truth. by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Everything you add to the truth subtracts from the truth.

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
truth add funny
When an Italian tells me it's pasta on the plate, I check under t... by Alex Ferguson

When an Italian tells me it's pasta on the plate, I check under the sauce to make sure.

Alex Ferguson
italian football funny
That lad must have been born offside. by Alex Ferguson

That lad must have been born offside.

Alex Ferguson
inspirational soccer funny

I tried it 100 or a million times it couldn't happen again. If I could, I would have carried on playing.

Alex Ferguson
inspirational football funny
Cole should be scoring from those distances, but I'm not going to... by Alex Ferguson

Cole should be scoring from those distances, but I'm not going to single him out.

Alex Ferguson
distance football funny
Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he h... by Alex Haley

Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help.

Alex Haley
turtles animal funny

Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called the PGA Tour.

Alex Hay
golf inspiring funny
Therapy can be a good thing; it can be therapeutic. by Alex Rodriguez

Therapy can be a good thing; it can be therapeutic.

Alex Rodriguez
ridiculous sports funny
Nothing comes sailing by itself. by Alexander Dale Oen

Nothing comes sailing by itself.

Alexander Dale Oen
sailing inspirational funny
It's better to be a dictator than gay. by Alexander Lukashenko

It's better to be a dictator than gay.

Alexander Lukashenko
sarcastic humorous funny
On life's vast ocean diversely we sail. Reasons the card, but pas... by Alexander Pope

On life's vast ocean diversely we sail. Reasons the card, but passion the gale.

Alexander Pope
inspirational life funny
We think our fathers fools, so wise we grow. Our wiser sons, no d... by Alexander Pope

We think our fathers fools, so wise we grow. Our wiser sons, no doubt will think us so.

Alexander Pope
wise funny father
They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake. by Alexander Pope

They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake.

Alexander Pope
marriage dream funny
I am dying with the help of too many physicians. by Alexander the Great

I am dying with the help of too many physicians.

Alexander the Great
health funny death

I’m not like most designers, who have to set sail on an exotic getaway to get inspired. Most of the time, it’s on my walk to work, or sitting in the subway and seeing something random or out of context.

Alexander Wang
sailing inspirational funny
All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or... by Alexander Woollcott

All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.

Alexander Woollcott
illegal-things food funny

Many of us spend half of our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.

Alexander Woollcott
insperational time funny
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