Quotes by Witty This is what I tell young women who ask me for career advice. People are going to try to trick you. To make you feel that you are in competition with one another. You're up for a promotion. If they go for a woman, it'll be between you and Barbara. Don't be fooled. You're not in competition with other women. You're in competition with everyone. Tina Fey careerswittypeople Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole. Tina Fey makeupcrazywitty Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of. Tina Fey gaywittythinking Whitney Houston’s cover of “I Will Always Love You” was constantly on my FM Walkman radio around that time. I think that made me cry because I associated it with absolutely no one. Tina Fey love-youwittythinking I was a little excited but mostly blorft. "Blorft" is an adjective I just made up that means 'Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.' I have been blorft every day for the past seven years. Tina Fey stresswittymean You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute. Tina Fey strong-womenfunny-inspirationalwitty MAKE STATEMENTS also applies to us women: Speak in statements instead of apologetic questions. No one wants to go to a doctor who says, “I’m going to be your surgeon? I’m here to talk to you about your procedure? I was first in my class at Johns Hopkins, so?” Make statements, with your actions and your voice. Tina Fey voiceclasswitty (My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter word FARTING.) Tina Fey uncleswittychildren My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne. Tina Fey acneanxietywitty Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone. Tina Fey madwittypeople You must not look in that mirror at your doughy legs and flat feet, for today is about dreams and illusions, and unfiltered natural daylight is the enemy of dreams. Tina Fey mirrorsdreamwitty I have never been able to understand the complaint that a story is "depressing" because of its subject matter. What depresses me are stories that don't seem to know these things go on, or hide them in resolute chipperness; "witty stories," in which every problem is the occasion for a joke; "upbeat" stories that flog you with transcendence. Please. We're grown ups now. Tobias Wolff depressingstorieswitty You have to remember that actors are human beings. Which is hard sometimes because they look so much better than human beings. Tina Fey actorswittylooks Either way, everything will be fine. But if you have an opinion, please feel free to offer it to me through the gap in the door of a public restroom. Everyone else does. Tina Fey doedoorswitty Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not. Tina Fey control-of-your-lifewantwitty All my friends are funny, witty, fun-loving people. As are my parents, and the people I work with. I get at least a couple of good laughs in every day. Toks Olagundoye couplewittyfun The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense. Tom Clancy truthwittylife It is better to be quotable than to be honest. Tom Stoppard honestytruthwitty When I think of Cool Britannia I think of old people dying of hypothermia. Tony Benn wittypeoplethinking I like marriage. The idea. Toni Morrison wittyfunfunny«5758596061626364656667»
