Quotes by Witty As marriage produces children, so children produce care and disputes; and wrangling. Mary Wortley Montagu wittyfunnychildren When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities. Matt Groening lessons-to-be-learnedwittysex Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness. Mark Twain hilariouswittyfunny I like quips. I like whiffs of cynicism and I think they can be witty. But I don't really know where wittiness is constructive. Matthew McConaughey cynicismwittythinking In comedy, the witty style wins out over every mishap of the plot. Mason Cooley stylewinningwitty My father could be very witty, even if the humor was always on the darker side of irony. Maurice Sendak sideswittyfather Men write many fine and plausible arguments in support of monarchy, but the fact remains that where every man has a voice, brutal laws are impossible Mark Twain writingwittymen The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the telling;the comic and the witty story upon the matter. Mark Twain humorousstorieswitty Women should be tough, tender, laugh as much as possible, and live long lives. The struggle for equality continues unabated, and the woman warrior who is armed with wit and courage will be among the first to celebrate victory. Maya Angelou warriorstrugglewitty Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive. Mel Brooks wittylifefunny I love gentiles. In fact, on of my favorite activities is Protestant spotting. Mel Brooks my-favoritewittyfacts I'd never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room Mercedes McCambridge wittylifefunny My father liked to moralize, and so do I. But he was in earnest, while I am embarrassed and pretend that I am merely being witty. Mason Cooley embarrassedwittyfather I think about Aaron Rodgers, he's like Chris Evans before he got the HGH injection in Captain America. But before he was super smart and was still witty and stuff. That's how I see Tom Brady. Michael Bennet smartwittythinking Twitter is just a great joke laboratory. You go in there and there are so many witty people that I know any joke I make is going to have a response with at least 10 great jokes coming back. Michael Kupperman responsewittypeople I've got a little baby, I made him...He doesn't speak, he's 2...He's a slow learner, he's only got 2 words...car and map...I'm slightly worried he's trying to escape. If his next word is passport we are in serious trouble! Michael McIntyre carwittybaby My wife and I both made a list of 5 people we could sleep with...she read hers out and there were no surprises...1 George Clooney...2 Brad Pitt etc...I thought 'Ive got the better deal here'...1 Your sister Michael McIntyre sleepwittypeople Normally you have news, weather and travel.....but not on snow day, on snow day news is weather is travel. Michael McIntyre weatherwittysnow They had to ask spain I think, they've had to say to Spain, can you lend us some stuff for the roads, and it's Gordon Brown phoning up going 'pass the salt' Michael McIntyre spainwittythinking I'm glad Carol Vorderman has left Countdown, I mean it's not like she did much. She was effectively just an autistic shelf-stacker. Michael McIntyre shelveswittymean«3839404142434445464748»
