Quotes by Funny Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding. Ambrose Bierce sarcastic funny art The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog. Ambrose Bierce humor dog funny In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity. Ambrose Bierce heart integrity funny Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy. Ambrose Bierce humor prayer funny Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. Ambrose Bierce badass money funny PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience. Ambrose Bierce music keys funny Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two. Ambrose Bierce anniversary romantic funny NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient. Ambrose Bierce humor love funny Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect. Ambrose Bierce god names funny Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage. Ambrose Bierce marriage love funny AUSTRALIA, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute among geographers as to whether it is a continent or an island. Ambrose Bierce funny country lying Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. Ambrose Bierce pockets funny science You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute. Ambrose Bierce marriage love funny General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy. Ambrose Bierce military funny enemy Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree. Ambrose Bierce degrees sloth funny What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country. Ambrose Bierce humorous funny country Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another. Ambrose Bierce happy happiness funny Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another. Ambrose Bierce humor funny moving I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats. Ambrose Bierce party humorous funny Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others. Ambrose Bierce jealousy sarcastic funny «89101112131415161718»
